Moon and Starlight
by Crazy4Moony
Summary: Two people in need for help, just might as well help each other. Remus and Sirius find out how that works. Because when you feel messed up, it seems too hard to give aide to others. But helping out the ones they love, just migh turn out to help them too.
1. Chapter one: Monster 1

**Moon and Starlight**

**AN: I wrote this a long time ago... and since I feel like continueing it, I decided to reread it. I did so very quickly, so seriously, sorry if there's still a lot of mistakes left--you know how we all used to think we were good at writing, until we got older and realised we really aren't ;) This is back from when I seriously sucked at writing. SO, warning, once more: Beware Of The Ugly Mistakes I Used To (and sometimes still) Make.**

I.

Chapter one: Monster 1.

Saturday evening found a rather pissed off James Potter and an in-denial Sirius Black in the Gryffindor dorms' bathroom.

"What do you think you're doing?" James hissed angrily.

Sirius frowned and spit out some toothpaste.

"I thought I was brushing my teeth." He mumbled and put his toothbrush to his teeth again.

"Don't go smart on me! You know what I'm talking about!" James closed the bathroom door, so the other boys wouldn't be able to hear their conversation.

He wanted to keep this private. If his assumptions were right, it wouldn't be something the whole dorm needed to know.

"Honestly Prongs, I haven't got a clue." Sirius said in a grunt, trying to keep the toothpaste in his mouth.

Well, _in fact_, he knew perfectly well what James was talking about, but he wouldn't admit it. No. Let James wander alone in his distress for a while. It gave Sirius a better chance to brush his teeth, because really, James' timing wasn't at all that well. Disturbing Sirius during his important teeth-brushing ritual. Pff. Pure savages, those Potters.

"O please! Don't give me that shit," James cased a glance at the door, to make sure it was really closed. Then he spat out: "You have the hots for Moony!"

Sirius cupped some water with his hands, shaking his head like he always did, to get the water to reach every single spot in his mouth. So maybe it made him look like an idiot. At least he had clean teeth. He spit out the water and said nothing.

"Are you going to deny it?" James asked.

Sirius sighed and put his toothbrush away.

"Or are you gonna ignore me?" James sounded rather impatient.

"Prongs…" Sirius sighed deeply. He put his hands on his hips in a sophisticated, God-why-do-you-make-_my_-crushes-_your_-business way. Then he continued: "I don't know what to say, really…"

James frowned, deep in thought. He then leaned against the door. Calmly, yet matter-of-factly he said: "you could fight it. Either tell me it's not true, or tell me you are indeed in love with Moony."

Sirius paced the bathroom and gave James a little look. James might be his best friend, but Sirius had never been into the whole reading-each-other's-minds stuff like other best friends sometimes did. Yes, he could anticipate James' very reaction, and they _did_ finish each other's sentences sometimes. That did not give Sirius the ability to read James' mind when it came to something big like this. _Love_, wasn't Sirius' area. Give him the simple things, and he'll manage. Love? No. He had no idea what James might do.

"Please, don't be mad James…" He started.

This let James know he had probably been right. But knowing it'd be better for both of then if Sirius said it out loud, he decided to give Sirius a little cheer-up-and-just-get-it-out speech. Those always did good: "Sirri, if you happen to be in love with one of our friends, you can just tell me. I wouldn't mind. And if you're afraid I'll tell him, or that I'll look at you differently, vain fears my friend. You know that won't ever happen!" He smiled and put a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "You're my best mate. If you love a guy, you love a guy. As long as you're happy; that's all that matter."

Sirius looked at him, he could see that James was being serious.

"Okay," he inhaled deeply. "James… I think I might be in love with Remus Lupin, known best to us as Messer Moony."

Silence. Infinite silence. Then…

"Does he know?"

Sirius released a breath he didn't know he was holding, and looked at James with that crooked smile of his. He leaned back against the sink.

"Well, we always say he's the smartest and stuff, but honestly…"

James started grinning.

"I'll take that as a 'no'."

"You do that, but now… I'm kind of tired; you think we can talk about this later?" Sirius stifled a yawn.

"Sure." James smile grew wider.

Sirius walked to the door, and before they left the bathroom, James hugged him tight.

"You'll be just fine." He said, and Sirius was just happy he understood.

* * *

"Well finally! We thought you were doing something against the law in there." Frank said cheerfully as they entered the bedroom.

(Something against the law being something against Hogwarts-law, which meant that Frank was insinuating that James and Sirius had been humping like bunnies in the bathroom.)

"Me and that thing," James exclaimed dramatically. "Never!"

Normally Sirius' remark would at least be as sassy as James', but he was distracted by a certain werewolf, who was not looking too happy, and was pretending to be reading a book. Sirius could tell Remus was pretending. When he was _really_ reading, his eyes flicked over the pages with a steady pace. They had been focused on the same spot for some seconds now.

As Sirius stalked over to Remus' bed, Frank threw a pillow at James, who threw one back, aiming at Frank, but hitting Peter, who immediately threw one back at James, hitting Frank. And thus, the pillow fight began. At that point, everyone was involved, except for Remus and Sirius. Remus tended to close the curtains of his four-poster if he was reading and a fight like this began, and Remus, who wasn't one to let you down, closed his curtains. Sirius on the other hand, would usually be the most dangerous man with a pillow, but not this time. He made sure no one saw him (which wasn't hard, because everything and everyone was covered in white feathers, still hitting whatever they could hit) and slipped into Remus' bed.

"Hi." He said cheerfully.

He crossed his legs, and sat right in front of Remus. Remus didn't even as much as look at him, he just said, with a bitter tone in his voice: "hello."

Sirius frowned, but Remus' eyes were still fixed on the book. Sirius noted that it was a Shakespeare novel. Some writer from the seventeenth century, wasn't it? Sirius'd be damned if he cared.

"So… don't care to join them?" He tried to start a conversation.

It didn't work well.

"O please, don't be ridiculous, I'm reading, why would I want to be covered with feathers, if I can read."

The same bitter tone, Sirius was getting uncomfortable.

"Did I upset you?" Sirius easily questioned.

He wanted this out in the open. Remus placed his finger to mark a paragraph, and looked up. His eyes didn't meet Sirius' though. They were focussing on the curtains behind Sirius, which Sirius didn't like _at all_.

"What makes you think that?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, and Remus lifted a brow.

"Like you don't know that you're being a total arse." Sirius stated simply.

There was no reason to lie about it. They both knew Remus was being cross. And it wasn't even full moon yet. Remus' usually pale cheeks got a shade of pink.

"Well I'm sorry I can't be more like James." He hissed, clasping his book closed, not even glancing to remember what page he was at.

"What's that supposed to—O…" Sirius looked at Remus, who was staring madly at the cover of his book. "Oh please, me and Prongs?" Sirius just laughed, but Remus didn't really find it funny.

"Yeah, why is that so impossible?" Remus glared at him. "'Cause you're not queer?"

He popped in the second question to get out a reaction, but he failed. Sirius, sensing that there was still something off, merely stated: "'cause Prongs' madly in love with Evans, dummie," and poked Remus in his side. Remus didn't seem satisfied, he was still not looking at Sirius. "So why are you being a total arse?"

"None of your business." He said.

"Oh come on! Did someone do something wrong! 'Cause if they did, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to hit them!"

'_Ha_,' Remus thought. '_That'd be funny! You hitting yourself!_' (We have to forgive our favourite werewolf here. He's just being a bit jealous.)

"So, you're gonna tell me or not?"

"Not." Remus said simply.

"Remus…" Sirius looked at him, hoping he'd look back. But he was to busy staring at his book. Sirius huffed. He hated when Remus chose to give books attention, and ignored Sirius. Really, books could hardly be _that_ interesting. "I think you should tell me." Sirius said.

"I don't feel like telling you! Shouldn't you be having fun or something?" Remus gave a little wave with his hand.

He was getting slightly irritated. He couldn't possibly admit why he was being so pissed, so Sirius should just leave, and let him wallow in his own misery!

"This _is_ fun." Sirius tried feebly.

"Ha! Yeah right, fighting with old, dull, boring Remus is always fun! How could I forget?" Remus mocked.

"Don't be that way." Sirius whispered, as the loud noises of banging pillows on empty heads stopped.

They heard mumbles and Peter was snoring loudly. The lights suddenly went out; nobody seemed to have noticed that Sirius wasn't in his bed.

Sirius put a charm on Remus' bed, so he was able to speak openly.

"I never said any of those things." Sirius said.

"You didn't have to! I just know!"

Sirius frowned, now thoroughly confused. What the hell was this? Remus happened to be one of his best friends. He wasn't dull or boring, or old for that matter. He was great and sweet and so bloody drop-death gorgeous!

"Well I think you don't 'cause that isn't how I feel!" Sirius stated.

'_Oeps_,' he immediately regretted it, as Remus raised an interested eyebrow. '_He's got you now._'

"How do you feel then?" Asked, fake-innocent.

"I…" Sirius burned up. How was he going to get himself out of this one? "Have to go."

Before Remus could even protest, Sirius had already gone.

* * *

He sighed deeply as soon as he set foot out of Gryffindor tower. That had been really close. He glanced around once, and decided to go outside, even though it was raining. There was a fierce wind, and Sirius shivered once. He wasn't even wearing a pyjama top. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He didn't really mind though, he'd always been quiet fond of the rain. Even if it tended to be cold and wet. He sighed again, and let the wind and rain cool his face, that had been hot, only minutes ago. It wasn't long before he heard noises behind him. Thinking it must be Remus, he didn't say anything, nor moved. Then a voice met him, and it wasn't Remus: "well, well, well, if it isn't my favourite cousin." Sirius spun round and found Lucius Malfoy staring at him.

"What do you want?" Sirius said bitterly.

He didn't like being around Lucius. Lucius was older, and even though Sirius hated to admit it, he was stronger. Sirius liked to be in control. Lucius, was one of those things that happened to be incontrollable.

"Well that's very simple Sirius," Lucius came closer, and Sirius backed away, until his back almost met with a tree. He had also always been sort of afraid of Lucius, because he knew that he meant trouble. He had always had a strange effect on people, men and women; they just went weak in his presence. It was no secret that Lucius had that same effect on Sirius' mother, but that didn't really make Sirius feel better. "I want you." Lucius ended in a whisper.

He roughly pushed Sirius against a tree, holding his body in check with his own, so Sirius wasn't able to move one inch.

"Lucius… don't." Sirius begged the older man.

"Don't what?"

Lucius grinned wickedly, and kissed Sirius' neck, leaving small marks with his teeth.

"Leave me…" Sirius tried to push Lucius away, but to no avail. Lucius' body was pressing against his own. Sirius tried to hit him, but Lucius caught his fist, and pinned it above Sirius' head.

"My, my, such temper you have young sir Black." Lucius laughed, and let one of his white fingers travel along Sirius' chest, circling around his navel, going up again.

Sirius didn't know what to do. He'd try to kick Lucius, but his legs were currently held tight by Lucius' and he didn't look like he was planning on moving them any time soon. Sirius made a go for it: he tried to hit Lucius with his left hand but Lucius caught Sirius' fist once more, and held it above his head, together with the other one. Lucius now held both of Sirius' hands, with one of his own, and Sirius lost all hope. Lucius looked at Sirius' face, he touched his cheek with a finger, slowly outlining Sirius' cheekbone.

"You look like your mother Sirius, and that's not bad, now is it?"

Sirius stayed still, anger boiling inside. Lucius moved his legs a bit, and pressed his knee into Sirius' groan, relieving a dissatisfying grunt.

"Don't." Sirius repeated.

Lucius ignored Sirius, and forced him to turn around. He pressed Sirius against the tree, and the hard wood prickled Sirius' chest. Sirius clamped his teeth together, trying to think of something to do. Anything really, to make him stop. He didn't like this… teasing. Or whatever it was. Because even if he was just teasing, trying to scare Sirius, Sirius could feel Lucius' hard-on, pressing against his thigh. And that could _not_ be good. Lucius was now making purple marks on Sirius' back, and Sirius was back to pleading.

"Don't… just don't." But Lucius didn't listen.

Lucius' hands roamed down Sirius back, and he bit hard into the flesh again. Sirius groaned out in pain, but Lucius merely continued his way down. When he reached the fabric of Sirius' trouser, Sirius tried to struggle, but it only caused Lucius to viciously hit Sirius with his knee, hard, pushing him into the tree even more. As if all Sirius wanted to do was hug the wood senseless. Sirius cursed Lucius silently, now almost desperately looking around, trying to find any way out. Lucius' hand went under Sirius' trouser, and before he knew it they were resting against his ankles. '_Oh, oh,_' this was really getting out of hand.

"Lucius, just stop it, I don't want…" he said, as he heard a 'cling' in the cold air, coming from Lucius, who was unbuckling his belt.

"I do not recall asking for your input," Hissed Lucius. "Just wait patiently it'll be over soon; I'll be quick." An evil grin appeared on Lucius' face, as he tightened his grip on Sirius' wrists.

"Don't…" Sirius began.

"Shush. Inhale." Lucius said.

Sirius wanted to cry, but did as he was told. He inhaled deeply and Lucius forced himself into him. Waves of pain racked through Sirius' body. God damn it, he just wanted it to be over soon. He let out a silent sob, pushing himself closer to the tree. Anything to get Lucius _out_ of him. Lucius forced their hips together and Sirius focused on something else. Anything. He did _not_ want to be here. Faster and faster Lucius moved, and it was making Sirius sick. He thought he was about to pass out. He didn't feel well. Lucius was still making marks, with his nails, mouth, whatever hurt most. But Lucius was true to his word: he soon climaxed, coming deep inside of him. He pulled out, pulled up his trousers, and kicked Sirius once, which was completely unnecessary; it wasn't like he was in any shape to move anyways. Sirius groaned and fell to the ground. He was cold, and the night air didn't feel as nice as it did before. He finally let himself cry freely, not caring who'd see. He was just a sad lump of flesh and trousers in the grass, sobbing.

* * *

Drops cooled Sirius' face, and he tried to think of something else. It was late—very late. He shouldn't still be outside, but he couldn't help it. He had never been in a situation like this, but he though it best to remain cool and unmoving. If only he could just… force it out of him. If only he could cry it all away, and then act like it never happened. That might undo it. He steadied his breathing, but continued crying. _Soon, _he told himself,_ 'I'll go back in, like nothing happened. And I'll be with my friend and I'll be okay and…-'_

"Sirius?" The wind carried the soft voice over to Sirius.

'_No! Not Moony!_' Sirius begged to himself.

Moony couldn't see him, not now. His trousers were by his ankles, and he was _naked_, and _crying_ and, '_No!_' he could not have Remus see him right now.

But it was indeed Remus, in all his full glory, wearing a red sweater, with a white shirt underneath it, and blue jeans. He hadn't changed to his pj's yet.

Sirius' whole body was aching, he could barely move, let stand muster up the strength to pull his boxers and trousers up. He moaned, desperately yanking at his clothes, but they wouldn't budge. By the time Remus realised it was indeed Sirius, he'd only managed to pull them up his knees, and when Remus reached him, he lay there weak, and not able to move, his trousers still by his knees. '_Fine_.' Remus had seen him naked before. Yet this was slightly more embarrassing.

"Sirius! What happened!" Remus sat down on his knees, leaning over Sirius' broken form.

"Nothin'." Sirius grunted, feeling ashamed.

He tried to move, and let out a heartbreaking sob.

"Don't lie to me Sirius," Remus whispered. He stayed still for a moment, and then helped Sirius sit up a bit. Sirius' head wobbled rather dangerously, and Remus kept him steady. He was really dizzy. "What happened?"

He glanced down at Sirius' naked body, and decided to pull up the boxers and trousers. Sirius grunted in pain.

"Sirius?" Remus helped him up.

"I'm… fine." Sirius mumbled.

Remus frowned, and took one of his arms, laying it around his shoulder. Sirius welcomed the comfortable feeling and rested his head against the shoulder, feeling as if he were about to fall down. Remus grasped him tightly around his waist, and feeling that he wasn't going to get an honest answer out of Sirius just yet, he moved towards the castle.

"Come on," Remus mumbled. "Let's get you to a bathroom."

Sirius didn't quite get what Remus was saying, but he trusted him, so he shuffled on. Remus carefully moved, and they made their way into the castle. Luckily they didn't cross any teachers, or Filch and his evil-minded cat. Remus decided it would be best to take Sirius to a bathroom near Gryffindor tower, so that they wouldn't wake anyone up. And he really wanted to know what had happened first. So, he went into the boys' bathroom close to the tower, and locked it, putting a charm on it.

He then turned to Sirius, who'd sunk to the floor. His eyes were closed, his head was leaning against the wall, and he looked like he was in a _lot_ of pain. Remus walked over to him, and sat down.

"Sirius, look at me." He ordered.

He didn't really know what was wrong with him. For all Remus knew, Sirius had a concussion, and if that was so, he needed to stay awake and conscious. Otherwise he might get into a coma or something bad like that.

Sirius opened his eyes. They seemed foggy and distant.

"Where are you hurt?" Remus asked.

Sirius grunted.

"I'm… fine." He mumbled.

Remus frowned again. He was not in the mood for games—why wouldn't Sirius just tell him what had happened? Remus just wanted to help. He could be trusted! He would never let Sirius handle things like this on his own. He couldn't stand seeing him in such pain, but the fact that he was so reluctant to tell him when had happened, hurt Remus too.

"Sirius, stop lying. What happened?" He demanded.

"I just…" Sirius looked at Remus.

He seemed very stubborn and out-to-get-the-truth-like. Sirius really wanted to tell him, but he felt so ashamed. Tears started filling his eyes, and he tried to blink them away.

"Remus, you have to promise not to tell anyone." Sirius whispered.

"I promise." Remus laid a comforting arm around Sirius' shoulder.

"And… please… I…" Sirius stuttered. He avoided Remus' eyes. "I really… didn't want to." There was a heartbreaking sob.

Remus couldn't stand to see Sirius this way, and pulled the crying boy close to his chest. He really didn't care that his shirt was getting wet, as long as he could make Sirius feel better. Sirius continued sobbing.

"Sirius," Remus began. He knew it wasn't really the best time to ask, but he had to know. The vision of Lucius Malfoy, grinning at him as he walked out of the castle, was stuck in his head. "Did Lucius do this?" A louder sob. "Did he make you…" he didn't finish.

But Sirius didn't need a full sentence to know what Remus meant. He nodded and Remus' eyes widened. He called Lucius all sorts of nasty things inside his head. Anything that seemed fitting really, while Sirius continued sobbing. Then he whispered nice things in Sirius' ear, wanting him to get better. Eventually, Sirius managed to sit up again. Remus looked him in the eye, and whipped the tears away with a soft smile.

"It's okay, I'm here now," Sirius nodded, having complete faith in Remus. After all, they were best friends. Really, Remus cared for him, no matter what. Sirius might be proud, and an arse sometimes, but Remus still cared for him. He really did. "Now," Remus got up, lending Sirius a hand and an arm to get him up too. "Let's clean you up, shall we."

He led Sirius to the sink, and magiced up a soft washcloth. Then he reached around Sirius' body to make it wet, whilst stoking Sirius' back in a comforting manner.

Sirius looked at Remus' reflection in the mirror, he tried to smile, but he just couldn't manage.

"Sirius, I'm so sorry this happened to you." Remus said sadly. He started cleaning the wounds on Sirius' back.

There was some mud here and there, and even grass sticking to them, and every now and then a whimper escaped Sirius' lips. Remus carefully put some pressure on the bleeding ones, hoping none got infected. Sirius sobbed again, and Remus laid a hand on his shoulder.

"You'll be fine, I promise, you'll be just fine."

Sirius nodded, tears shone in his eyes, but not for long, he had always been tough. Remus took the cloth again, and continued washing Sirius' back, then…

"Sirius… I think…" Sirius looked up at Remus in the mirror; he was staring pensively at Sirius' back. "Well there's semen… I think…" he looked up and found that tears had filled Sirius' eyes again.

"Sirri… please… I didn't mean to hurt you… I…"

But Sirius shook his head.

"I'm sorry Remus… I don't mean to be a burden."

Remus carefully put his arms around Sirius' waist, who held on to them.

"Never Sirius… you'll never be a burden."

Sirius closed his eyes for a minute, held on to one of Remus' arms, and with his free hand, he slowly pulled down his trousers.

Remus sat down on bended knees, and started cleaning Sirius' backside. It didn't look that bad, not much blood, semen, and it was a little purple, but Remus was just happy that Sirius would be okay. Sirius still had one of Remus' hands in his own, not wanting to let go, but Remus didn't mind, he just ran water over the cloth, and continued the work.

(_'Don't focus on the fact that he's naked and right here. Do not think about his beautiful, well-toned body. Restrain the urge to run a finger down his buttocks. Heal him, make him better, do not fall in love with him. Just... don't. Even if you already are. Make him better, be here. Do not fall in love with him._')

"Well, that looks better," Remus said, after he was done. He got up and noticed Sirius was shivering. "O god! I feel like an idiot!" Remus pulled off his sweater and gave it to Sirius. "Put it on, I'm so sorry I didn't notice earlier."

"You can't be blamed," Sirius managed to smile a weak smile. "You were too busy staring at my arse."

Remus shook his head, Sirius pulled up his trousers, and they both noticed they were back to holding hands.

"Come on." Remus mumbled, but he didn't let go of Sirius' hand.

Being as quiet as possible, they walked up to Gryffindor tower, where Remus made sure Sirius was lying warm and comfortable under his sheets. As he was about to turn to his own bed, Sirius held his hand again, and whispered: "would you mind… staying… just for now?"

Remus smiled and climbed next to Sirius.

"I'm sorry Moony." Sirius whispered as Remus closed the curtains and put a charm on the bed.

"Don't be Sirius." Remus mumbled, distracted.

He was having some trouble with his shirt (he had been wearing one under his sweater). He had it planned out carefully: he'd easily take off the shirt, put on his pyjama's using lightning speed, without Sirius noticing, but that didn't really worked. He just couldn't stand the thought of Sirius seeing his scarred chest.

"Remus, what on earth are you doing?" Sirius had noticed Remus was fidgeting.

"Just… my shirt." Remus mumbled.

"Come here." Sirius carefully sat up straight, whilst Remus shuffled a little closer, and started to unbutton Remus' shirt.

"Sirius… you don't… it's…" but it was too late.

His shirt fell open and all Sirius could do was stare. He had known before that Remus hurt himself every month, but he never knew he'd keep the scars.

"Remus…" Sirius tried settling on a soft voice. He did his best not to think about his own pain for a second, and focused on Remus, who turned away in shame. "I didn't know…" at first, Sirius had planned on restraining but he really couldn't; he ran a finger over Remus' chest.

"I'm sorry." Sirius mumbled, but he didn't stop.

Remus looked at him, trying to read him, as he went over every single scar. He had to resist the urge to moan and kiss his lips—but he couldn't, not now. Sirius had just been terribly hurt, and no matter how much he looked like the happy, hyper Sirius, he wasn't. He was in pain.

"Sirius… please… you don't have to…" Sirius' hand was resting on Remus' chest as Remus took it in his own.

"Moony, it's okay." Sirius smiled.

Remus shook his head.

"It's horrible." He turned away again.

He didn't want this. He hadn't meant to make Sirius see. It was indeed horrible, so he thought. Now Sirius could actually feel them, those marks. Those horrid things, those where the one thing Remus hated more then what he was. And now Sirius knew. But he didn't react as Remus would've thought. He cupped Remus' face, and turned it, so he could see Remus' expression.

"They're part of you," Sirius caught Remus' eyes, and wouldn't let go, just like Remus wouldn't let go of Sirius' hand. "You're beautiful Remus, they can't change that, they're part of the beauty, they don't make you the beast."

Sirius almost drowned in Remus' amber eyes, which were filled with tears. Sad as he might be, he still nodded. He guided Sirius' hand back to his chest, where cold fingers went over still burning marks.

"I'm sorry Sirius." Remus whispered.

He was enjoying his touch, but not willing to admit it.

"Don't be… I mean… you're right! I'll be fine…" Sirius settled with the I-wanna-be-happy-so-I'm-pretending-to-be smile. "It's just that... school is ending, and or I go home… and that's not gonna be good, or I stay with Prongs, who's banging every girl he can." Sirius mumbled, still tracing patterns.

Remus felt even sorrier for Sirius. He had an evil-minded family, and as for James… he'd developed a new way of showing Lily he loved her: he had sex with all of her friend. Just a couple of days until the holidays began.

"You could come with me." Remus said, as if it just popped in his head.

Well he 'd actually been thinking about it for over a month now… not that he was going to let Sirius know that.

Sirius' hands stopped moving. He looked at Remus, overrun by the offer, but he knew that this was everything he had ever hoped for. Poor Remus actually thought that something was wrong.

"Sirius… I didn't…" but Sirius put his finger on Remus' lips and said: "that's great! I'd really love to!"

Sirius' eyes lit, and they showed a silver kind of blue.

"You're sure? I mean, if you don't want to, you don't have to." Remus said.

"No! I really, really, really, really want to." Sirius smiled, the same blue-ish glitter in his eyes.

There was a silence moment, where they were just looking at each other, and both about to say something when... Sirius yawned.

"You should get some sleep." Remus laughed.

Sirius nodded in agreement, and as he lay back, he pulled Remus down with him.

"Sirri, I still have to change." Remus protested.

"You're fine this way." Sirius said, put his arms around Remus' waist, and pulled him closer.

"Good night Moony." He mumbled.

Remus smiled.

"Good night Padfoot." Remus put an arm behind his head.

Soon Sirius laid his head in the crock of Remus' neck—sleeping, of course!—and Remus softly patted his back, until they both fell asleep.

* * *

There was a silent sob, then nothing. Remus opened his eyes, something was wrong—Sirius wasn't in bed with him anymore. He opened the curtains of the four-poster, and saw light coming from the space underneath the bathroom door. Everyone else was still asleep. With Peter snoring, no one had noticed Sirius, but Remus had felt something wasn't okay. He got out of bed, opened the door, locked it behind him, and found Sirius, hanging over the toilet. He ran to him immediately, and started petting his back.

"Sirius… you okay?"

Sirius nodded, but it was obviously that he had cried, and vomited.

"You should've waked me." Remus said, and unrolled some toilet paper, to wipe away Sirius' tears.

"I didn't mean to… it just happened, and I don't want to be a burden." Sirius had already said that, but it was clearly bugging him.

Remus helped Sirius get to the sink, where he wiped his mouth with a washcloth.

"We've already been through that Sirius, and of course you didn't mean to! Who would ever want to spit out everything that's inside?"

"People that wanna be slim." Sirius started washing his entire face.

Remus ignored the silly comment, petting his back lightly.

"You're okay? Ready to sleep?" He asked when Sirius straightened his back again.

Sirius nodded, and as he went back to bed, Remus dimmed the light, and lay next to him, they held hands again, and soon Sirius was curled up next to Remus.

* * *

**AN: so this is part one. I already wrote until chapter three, I think. So, if you think it has potential, let me know, and I'll reread the rest (reread it good!) and put it up. And then if you people really like it: I'll even start writing chapter four :o (OMG! Yeah, we have normal Crazy4Moony back, not the freak that thought she was Crazy4Moony and then suddenly grew up!) So... long story short: want me to continue: Review. Otherwise I won't.**


	2. Chapter two: Monster 2

II.

Chapter two: Monster 2.

When Remus woke up the curtains were open, and Sirius was still right next to him, asleep. There was a note on the nightstand.

_Dear Moony and Padfoot._

_Didn't want to wake you, 'cause you guys looked sooooo cute, curled up and stuff, wearing each others clothes and shit (well, that's only Sirius, but who cares?) _

_Hope you got some sleep. /winks like a madman/_

_And… don't wanna burst your bubble, but unfortunately, I'm gonna have to do that: _

_You both have some explaining to do Sirs! (God! I feel all McGonagall-ish…)_

_Oh, By The Way: Sirri, you look kind of pale, are you alright?_

_Love you guys (oh, and I'm probably eating if you want to know)_

_Bye…_

_Prongs._

Remus smiled and looked at Sirius, who was indeed looking pale, and was just waking up.

"Hi." He mumbled, moved and flinched.

"What's wrong?" Remus crawled to Sirius' side of the bed.

"My bloody arse is hurting, that's what's wrong," He tried on a weak smile, and it fitted him. "And my body's aching, and I feel very muscle-bound… weird, stiff I guess, in a way." He tried to get out of bed, and Remus helped him, whilst saying: "maybe you should stretch, and why are you grinning at me like that?"

Sirius carefully walked over to his drawer, got out one of his sweater and threw it at Remus.

"Put it on, or you'll freeze, and I'm just happy I'm gonna spend a whole vacation with you! Come on, let's get some food!" Sirius walked over to the door.

"Shouldn't you change?" Remus asked, as he pulled on the sweater.

"Not really, I'm starving!"

"Well, okay." They went down the stairs, Sirius grabbing Remus' arm every now and then—when he felt like his knees were about to give way.

On their way to the great hall, Remus was thinking about what would happen if Lucius and Sirius saw each other, but he didn't really want to find out. They talked about nonesensicall stuff, as if they were just two normal teenagers, with normal teenage lives, and weren't dressed in just their pyjamas.

As they entered the room, James started waving like mad.

"There are the two sleeping beauty's! You do know you're wearing each others sweaters right?"

"Yep." Sirius sat down, still looking rather pale, and making a painful face as he sat, then took a croissant, bit in it, and looked at Remus.

Remus smiled at him, a warm smile, saying a million things like: 'Sirius, you're gonna be fine' or 'I'll be there' and 'I love you, and everything about you.' At that point Lucius passed. Sirius and Remus didn't notice at first, because they were still looking at each other, but then Lucius whispered: "how are you feeling? I'm surprised you can actually still sit."

Sirius got pale, and unwanted tears filled his eyes. James was looking at his two best friends and Lucius, wondering what this was all about. But before he could ask anything, Remus did something he had never done before: he started a fight. In only a split second, Lucius was on the floor, Remus was on top of him, and he was hitting him repeatedly.

"That's for Sirius! You fucking fucked up, sick, fucking bastard!"

James was yelling stuff like: "you go Remus!" even though he had no clue what the fight was about—but all too soon after that, professor McGonagall pulled Remus off Lucius and send him to the nursery.

"What was that all about Mister Lupin? You've always been a perfect student, and now this! Explain!"

"Just greeting a friend professor." He sat down again.

Professor McGonagall frowned, saying: "we'll leave it with that, but I'm afraid that next time, there's going to be a punishment." And she left.

Sirius grinned happily, not even caring about what Lucius had said. He hugged Remus and started ranting: "Thanks! That was great! And then the excuse! 'Just greeting an old friend!' That was fantastic! You rule and stuff!"

"Could someone maybe explain?" James asked.

"O, that was nothing." Remus said, grinning, as he and Sirius broke apart, he took a piece of toast.

"Nothing! That was you repeatedly hitting Lucius!"

"As I said: nothing." Remus buttered his toast and started eating.

James was still quite curious, and gave them both a suspicious glare. He didn't like not knowing stuff. He was James Potter dammit! He knew everything. Well, most things. He grumbled and started eating a slice of bread.

Sirius was just eating the last piece of his tasty croissant, thinking about over a billion things, when his stomach suddenly went mad. In five seconds he was up, yelling: "Be right back!" and running out of the great hall.

James got up too, but Remus beckoned him to stay, and then followed him. He called for Sirius, but there was no answer—passing a bathroom, he heard sobs, and knew it must be him.

One of the cubicles was open, and Sirius was found, once more, hanging over the toilet.

"Sirius…"

Sirius opened his mouth to say something, then made some grunting noises, and hung his head again, so all the food of the past day could get out. Remus petted Sirius' back, and knelt down next to him.

"I guess my stomach can't handle food, just thinking about yesterday makes me…" he bent over again—Remus got the point.

"Maybe we should go to the infirmary to stop you from vomiting?"

"It's not gonna be any use Moony, it's not my stomach really, it's just more the thought of Lucius and…" Sirius' eyes welled with tears.

Remus took him into his arms once more, and cooed nice things in his ear—Remus would always be there to make it better.

* * *

The couple of days left until holidays went by in a daze. They avoided Lucius and stayed out of trouble. Sirius still got up every night to get everything out, and they would both make promises of safety to the dark.

When they finally sat, all together, on the train, Sirius wasn't sad, but deliriously happy. James had found it rather peculiar, since Sirius had been down the last couple of days—he didn't know what he and Lucius had fought about, but he knew Sirius' dark mood had something to do with him. But now, Sirius was back to his own, hyper happy self. Though, as they were saying their goodbyes to Prongs, (Peter had already left) things got cold.

"Promise you guys'll stop by once." James said.

"Yah, when you're not fucking one of Lily's friends, we'll stop by. Guess that means we'll see you next year mate." Sirius walked away without an other word.

"Well…" James looked at Remus.

"Give him some time," Remus smiled. "Nobody likes to be replaced by a girlfriend, and I promise we'll write." Remus hugged James and then waved as he too went through the gate.

He was greeted by Sirius saying: "So, where are your parents?" and looking around curiously.

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" Remus pushed their trolley ahead. "They're in France the first month, sorry, I really thought I told you." He stopped and stared at Sirius.

He noticed Sirius was looking off into the distance, and upon following his eyes, he noticed Sirius' mother coming through the gate with Regulus. Sirius blinked once, twice, and walked towards them. Totally ignoring his mother, he hugged Regulus and asked: "you'll be okay without me?"

"Do I have a choice?" Regulus smiled weakly.

He loved Sirius, he really did, and needed him, and cared for him; he was just never able to show that on school. Before anything else could be said his mother began to yell, and she pushed Regulus behind her.

"I heard what happened! You bastard! Whore!" She slapped Sirius across his face. "You're a disgrace to the whole family!" And Remus ran to the fighting mother and son. People were gathering around them, and as he entered the circle made by wizards as well as muggles, she looked at him. "And you!" She began hotly, now focussing her anger on Remus. "You broke his nose! You… you animal!" She was about to continue, but was interrupted by Sirius.

"Don't ever talk about my Moony that way! You sad excuse for a mother!" he grabbed Remus' hand roughly, said: "goodbye Regulus." And pushed his way through the people, back to their abandoned trolley.

* * *

"How do we get to your place?" Sirius totally pretended he had not just called Remus '_his_ Moony', and Remus wished he wouldn't.

He was burning up inside, just because of what Sirius had said, but now Sirius acted as if it was just something trivial and unimportant. It wasn't to Remus—it made his heart soar and his breathing go faster.

"Knights bus." Remus mumbled.

They walked to a deserted alley and Remus put out his wandhand. Ten minutes later they were sitting on unsteady chairs. They fell off every minute or so, so Sirius just sat on the ground, and looked up at Remus, who was looking out of the window. Sirius didn't quite liked being ignored like that, but he decided to let it slide—Moony was obviously deep in thought. He just wished Remus was thinking about him.

Quite the contrary actually; Remus was thinking about what Sirius' mother had said.

'You… animal!'

"Does your mother know?" He asked suddenly.

"That I'm staying with you? She does now." Sirius tried to get Remus' attention, but he was still staring out of the window.

"I meant, does she know about my furry problem?" Remus rephrased his question.

"Of course not! I never told anyone! And why on earth would I tell my mother?" Remus lifted his shoulders.

"It's just… what she said…" Remus sighed.

"Remmi, you shouldn't listen to my mother! I mean… if she wasn't already fucked up, Lucius made sure that she is now… literally." Sirius smiled but Remus just nodded.

* * *

Soon the knights bus emptied out, and eventually it was their turn. After a two minutes drive, Remus helped Sirius get up, and they got out.

"Well, this is home."

Remus lived in a typical muggle street. All houses looked the same, all front lawns were the same, everyone knew each other, and of course, everyone absolutely adored young mister Lupin. There was an old lady in front of Remus' house. Sirius stayed where he was, with their trunks.

"Miss Macey, what's wrong?" Remus ran towards her.

"Oh, Remus dear, home from school? I'm looking for your parents."

"They're in France miss, didn't they tell you?" Remus started guiding miss Macey to her own house.

"Now that you mention it! I believe they might've…" then she noticed Sirius, forgot what she was talking about, and walked over to where he was standing.

"Well, and who's this?" Miss Macey smiled, and Remus came standing next to Sirius.

"This is Sirius, my best friend, he's staying for the summer, we go to school together." Remus smiled.

"Nice to meet you miss." Sirius gave miss Macey a hand, and she smiled warmly.

"Remus, I insist you stop by once, you have so much to tell me, and do bring this young man."

"I will," Remus said. "Do you want us to walk you home?"

"O no, I'll be just fine, goodbye, it was nice to meet you, and let me know if you boys need something." She walked to her house, Remus waved and said: "we will." Then he lifted the heavy trunk and walked to the front door.

"I can carry one if you like." Sirius said, but Remus already put the trunks down, and started looking for his keys.

"She looks like a nice person." Remus found his keys.

"She really is, but she tends to forget things," He opened the door, stepped in with the trunks, and closed the door behind Sirius. "Welcome I guess."

Remus' house was small and cosy—very Remus like. On the right there were the stairs, in front of them and on their left there were doors. In the hallway there hung a lot of pictures of Remus. Of when he was younger, when he was in high school, that sort of things. Sirius admired the younger Remus for a while.

"So… you want to put our trunks away first?" Remus asked.

"Sure." Sirius looked at the stairs.

He thought Remus would have a lot of trouble with the trunks, but he simply levitated them up—a very handy man, he was.

Remus' room wasn't very small, but Sirius' was definitely bigger. There was a big four-poster, two bookcases, a bureau, a couple of chairs, and a wardrobe.

"I hope you don't mind both of us sleeping in there." Remus put down the trunks, and pointed at the bed.

"Of course not! I wouldn't want it any other way!" Sirius flopped down onto it.

It was comfortable, he thought, very soft. He made himself comfortable, glancing at Remus every couple of seconds. Remus who was standing by the door, looking back at Sirius, who was looking very inviting. Then Remus remembered he wasn't supposed to think about his friend like that and mentally slapped himself.

"Come on! You're not just gonna stand there, come here." Sirius waved to make him come lie next to him, and slowly, Remus obeyed.

"How do you feel?" Remus asked, and turned to his side, so he could look at Sirius better.

He got distracted by Sirius' stomach for a second—it was slightly showing from underneath his pullover. He then mentally slapped himself once more.

"Better. Happy to be here, with you. You do know you're great, right?" Sirius also turned on his side.

"Thank you." Remus blushed.

"God… you're so cute when you blush." Sirius' eyes widened in shock.

'_I did not just say that aloud!_'

Remus got even redder, and all Sirius could do was stare.

"Sorry, didn't mean to say that." Sirius mumbled.

Remus smiled shyly.

"No problem. Erm," he thought of something to distract them from the fact that Sirius had called him cute. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really." Sirius sighed, and lay on his back.

"Tired?"

"Yes, actually, I am." Sirius smiled, and started to unbutton his shirt, then he took off his jeans, and in nothing but his boxers, he crawled under the spray.

"Come on." Before Remus could even try to stand, Sirius pulled him down, and laid his head on Remus legs.

They where lying in a very odd way, Remus lay in a crossed way on the bed, and Sirius used his legs as pillow, then he moved up, until he eventually was right next to Remus, also lying crossed.

"I should change." Remus said.

"Really Moony, will you get over the whole 'changing' thing! O fine," Sirius unbuttoned Remus' shirt, and with one quick move, Remus was bottomless. "Look, you're changed, okay?" Sirius sighed and hugged Remus' around his waist.

"Fine, have it your way then." Remus smiled at Sirius, whose face turned serious.

"Moony, that night at Hogwarts… I really never said or thought any of that stuff." Sirius said.

Remus tried to remember what Sirius was talking about. It was probably about the night Lucius rapped Sirius. He remembered them fighting, but couldn't recall what about.

"What stuff Padfoot?"

"You being boring and things like that."

Remus remembered now.

"Well, I'm sure you wouldn't mind me being more like Prongs." Remus said bitterly.

Sirius got a little nervous, he hadn't planed on it to be this way.

"Not true Moony. You think I'd like it if both of my friends banged every girl they could? Not really! I mean… you can't even try to compare you and Prongs! You're every single thing he's not, where he flaws, you rule!" Sirius said hotly.

This was no good. Remus was so close, and Sirius wanted to just—

Remus opened his mouth to reply but instead of words leaving his mouth there was a... tongue entering it. What?

Sirius kissed him. Sirius kissed Remus. He just went and stole Remus' kissing-virginity. The bastard. Remus would've protested, if he wasn't enjoying it so much. And then the raven-head pulled away.

"God. I'm so sorry." He whispered against Remus' lips in a husky voice.

_Sorry, yeah, but that was still one hell of a kiss._

"Don't be." Remus pulled him close again, and they started another kiss.

* * *

Remus could only look at Sirius. It was getting dark, and his hair was shinning in the light of the red, almost disappeared sun. There needed to be no words, it was fine the way it was. He was still slightly panting—he didn't know kissing could be this tiring, or strenuous. Sirius turned to look at him, and blushed slightly when he said: "I think I'm actually hungry, you know, kissing tends to make me hungry."

Remus smiled, sitting up.

"Come on, let's see what we have."

Sirius got up and they walked down the stairs. They entered the kitchen which was… dark.

"Eum… there's a switch here… somewhere." Remus mumbled.

Remus' hand searched for the switch and found it. There was a table, a fridge, a sink, well, everything a kitchen has, and a backdoor, with… someone standing at the other side of it?

"Benjamin!" Remus walked over to the door and opened it.

"Thought you'd be back by now, how was school?" The boy with blonde hair (named Benjamin) hugged Remus, Remus tried to push Benjamin away, but Sirius didn't even notice.

He just looked amazed, thinking stuff like 'If that little fucker tries to steal MY Moony, he'll pay.'

"It was great, as always." Remus didn't smile.

"And you still look great too!" Benjamin looked at Remus' almost naked body. "Well, you're only wearing boxers, but still." he grinned.

Remus gave him a cold look (Sirius still didn't notice) and then said: "this is Sirius, he's staying for the holiday."

Benjamin looked at Sirius, and his eyes widened in shock.

"O God! I didn't interrupt things did I?"

Sirius smiled. He might as well be nice, otherwise His Moony might get mad.

"We were just getting food." He said, as His Moony came to stand next to him, Remus nodded.

"It'll probably just be bread or something, but, it's food right?" Remus walked over to the fridge, and got out bread, butter, cheese, salami and that was it.

"We'll have to get food tomorrow Sirri."

"Sure." Sirius smiled and sat down, just like Benjamin and Remus.

Remus looked at Benjamin in a mad sort of way, but he didn't say anything. Benjamin told them he had already had dinner, so he didn't eat, but Remus and Sirius both were very hungry, so they eat like… well… animals.

The blonde boy smiled at Remus, and had no eye for Sirius whatsoever, and Sirius noticed.

"So, how was school?" Benjamin asked.

"Great, as always, wasn't it?" Remus smiled at Sirius, and Sirius nodded in agreement.

"Oh, you go to school together?"

"Yep."

And thus they continued, they talked about everything and nothing, but Benjamin only had eyes for Remus. After they ate, Benjamin seemed to be wanting to tell Remus something.

"Eumm, do you mind if I talk to Remus in privet for a minute?" Benjamin said, after Remus had put the things away.

Sirius looked at Remus, but Remus looked at Benjamin, startled.

"No, I'll go upstairs." Sirius kissed Remus' cheek and left, but he didn't really want to go to Remus' room, so he sat on the stairs, listening to Remus and Benjamin.

"What's wrong?" Remus' voice asked.

"You know!" Benjamin yelled, and Sirius sat up straight, ready to burst in if it was necessary.

"I don't."

"Don't be so oblivious all the time! It's annoying!"

"Benjamin, just tell me what's wrong."

"You do this every year! You leave, and come back, all happy and chipper, talking about your friends, but you never think about us." Benjamin banged his fist on the table.

"We've been over this! There is no 'us'!"

"Why not Remus? Don't you remember?" There was scraping of a chair. "We could always pretend."

"Benjamin, leave me alone!"

"You never minded before!"

"I don't love you Benjamin. Leave me."

"You loved me before!"

"You know I never did. I don't even know why you came here in the first place. You know what would've happened if my parents were here."

"I knew your parents are in France Remus, and I'm sure your friend isn't gonna stay forever, and even if he would…" there was a 'bang' of something knocking against the wall.

"Auw! Leave me alone!" It was Remus.

Sirius stormed into the kitchen immediately, to find Benjamin pushing Remus against the wall.

"Stay away from him! You fucking fucker." Sirius threw Benjamin to the floor, where he stayed for a couple of seconds, then he got up, and hastily ran out through the back door.

Sirius looked at Remus, he was pale, and looked shocked.

"Come on." Sirius first closed the backdoor, and then they went to Remus' room.

* * *

"I'm sorry Sirius, I had no idea he'd show up." Remus sat on the bed, almost crying.

"Remmi, it's okay" Sirius put a comforting arm around Remus' shoulder.

"What is it with that guy anyway?"

"We… have a history. We kissed once, and well… he didn't want it to stop there, so he tried to… you know," Remus refused to look at Sirius. "And then my parents came in, they saw that I didn't want to, and warned him, if he ever came near me again, they'd call the police. He wrote me letters during the holiday, and I told him I never wanted to see him again, but he obviously didn't listen. Sirius, I'm so sorry."

Sirius turned Remus' head, so he could look him in his beautiful amber eyes.

"It's not your fault, and if he ever comes near you again, call me, and I'll beat the living hell out of him!"

Remus smiled at him, and Sirius kissed his soft, red lips.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me Moony." Sirius pulled Remus down, and lay his head in Moony's neck.

He caressed Remus' neck with his lips, and planted a kiss here and there. Remus moaned softly, and that stimulated Sirius to continue. He went over Remus' soft skin with his hands, and Remus held on to Sirius as he deepened another soft kiss.

"You smell great." Remus whispered, as Sirius continued to pet Remus' chest and stomach.

"Hmmm, you feel soft." Sirius closed his eyes, turned so he was now on his stomach, grabbed Remus around the waist, and pulled him closer.

"You really are tired, right?"

A slight nod, Remus smiled and pulled up the blankets, so it covered both of them.

* * *

"Ice mice?"

"No." Remus said.

"Sugar quills?"

"No."

"Well, in Merlin's name! What _do_ they have?"

Remus sighed. He and Sirius were at the supermarket. The muggle one. Not the best idea Remus ever had, but never mind.

"Sirius, might I remind you that we're in a muggle shop, why on earth would they have wizarding candy?"

"You mean… you spend the whole vacation without wizarding candy! No ice mice! No sugar quills! You're mad" Sirius waved wildly with his arms, so an elder lady ran away in fear.

Remus sighed again, and took a box of cereal.

"As long as I have my chocolate, I'll be fine."

"Yah, but you don't think I will be, right?" Sirius lifted a brow.

"As soon as we get home, I'm gonna show you something, that'll free us from

our misery." Sirius grinned, and looked at the red basket that was now half-full.

They'd be home soon enough.

"What misery?"

Remus looked at him suspiciously and, at the same moment that the priest entered the row they were in (not to mention that he was accompanied by a dozen school-children) Sirius kissed Remus, on his pink, perfect lips. The priest looked shocked at first, then, he recognised Remus. He seemed to forget about the children, and walked over to the kissing boys (who had no idea that anyone existed but them), the little humans following his every move.

"Mister Lupin! Is that you, and who's this lovely gi…" Remus jumped in shock, Sirius released Remus' face, and Remus went bright red, now the priest finally noticed Sirius was a boy (you know, with the long black hair, it's hard to see).

"O… I couldn't… I'm…" Sirius smiled and handed the priest a hand.

"No problem, it's because of the hair I guess."

The priest smiled, then looked at Remus.

"Well, I'm glad to see you seem over the whole 'Benjamin affaire', and moving on, that's good, isn't it?"

Remus nodded, now noticing the children, who were staring at Sirius and Remus.

"Sir, is he dangerous." a little boy pointed at Sirius.

He looked wilder then the kids were used to. Black, long hair, eyes that screamed 'freedom', an old jeans, a shirt that looked as if he slept with it, and more such things.

"Who cares," a little girl said. "He's hot!"

Sirius smiled.

"Thank you, so are you."

The girl grinned, and the priest looked a little flustered.

"We'll… go now… goodbye Remus… and friend." The priest left, and so did the children, but the little girl blew a kiss their way before she disappeared.

"Okay… should I be insulted or flattered?" Sirius looked at Remus.

"By what exactly? The priest thinking you're a girl, the boy thinking you're dangerous, or the girl thinking you're hot?" Remus grinned.

"I'm confused" Sirius pouted.

"Come on, we'll pay this and leave."

"Whoehoe!" Sirius yelled, smiled and followed Remus.

* * *

Remus was putting the food away, when Sirius stormed in.

"Remmi, look at what I found." he was holding an old, wooden box.

"What is it?" Sirius asked.

"It's chess. My father gave it to me when I was younger."

"But it's not like wizarding chess, right? No decapitating queens and stuff? Why don't we try it?"

"Erm… you want to play chess? Muggle chess? Sirius Orion Black is telling me he wants to play muggle chess?"

Sirius put one of his hands on his sides.

"What are you saying? That I'm to dumb for chess?"

"No," Remus said patiently and took the box out off his hand. "Just that it's not your type of game."

"I still want to play it." Sirius said stubbornly.

"Okay, tonight."

"You promise?"

"Promise."

**AN: Wauw. That's just suckarific. Seriously... It's a really old fic, so stick with me for a while: it's getting closer to the point where I have to continue writing, and then you'll have Crazy4Moony's style back! I swear! So... all the spelling errors and shit... Jeez... just bare with me please. And if it's too suckarific, let me know and I'll stop updating, to save you all from the crappy literature!**


	3. Chapter three: Chess

III.

Chapter three: Chess.

So, that night, they played chess. The board was lying on the carpet, in front of the fire, where it was nice and warm. When Sirius came down after his shower Remus was holding two mugs filled with hot chocolate.

"You've played chess before, right?" Remus asked as they sat down in front of the fireplace.

"Yah, I know the rules and stuff. So… let's do this."

And they did. It went fine, at least at first. But Remus had been right. Chess wasn't made for Sirius. He enjoyed it for a while—but he didn't like the idea of losing. So when Remus was about to win, Sirius tackled Remus to the floor in one quick move, '_accidentally_' bumping over the board, and kissing him fiercely.

"You're not really a good loser, are you?" Remus was a little flustered, laid on the soft carpet. Sirius was sitting on top, softly caressing Remus' neck with his lips, both of them casting shadows on the wall, being heated by the fire.

"Who said anything about losing?" Sirius pointed at the board, he was feeling very comfortable sitting on top.

"But…" Remus half tried to get up, and was interrupted by a pair of lips, crushing onto his.

"Isn't this more fun than chess?"

"Hm." Remus mumbled.

Sirius grinned, and continued talking, leaving Remus longing for his lips.

"Who ever said chess wasn't my sort of game?" Sirius stared onto Remus' amber eyes innocently.

"Not me." Remus pulled Sirius' head down, and gave him a soft kiss.

Sirius' hands crawled under Remus' sweater, explored Remus' stomach, and soon after Remus became sweater-less, Sirius' hands tugging off the fabric over his head. For Remus, it took even less time to take off Sirius' clothes, since he was only wearing a bathrobe, and black, silky boxers, so the bathrobe disappeared, and Sirius now sat on top of Remus, who was still wearing his jeans, with only boxers. Sirius planted soft kisses on Remus' belly, and licked his bellybutton. A moan escaped from Remus' lips as Sirius lowered Remus' jeans, and started kissing his groin. Sirius smiled and moved up again, kissing Remus' lips. Sirius took Remus' hand and softly kissed his fingers, putting his lips on every single inch of them, kissing his palm, wrist, everything, while looking deep into Remus eyes. There was something sexy and hot about that. Then, he kissed Remus' neck, going down. There're moments that just don't need any talking, and this was one of them. Moments were all the bad crap in the world is forgotten, moments when even broken pieces get mend again. In this moment, there was only Sirius and Remus, and warm fire, and enchanting eyes. Even though they didn't went further then kissing and licking and unbuttoning jeans, kissing earlobes, biting lips, whatever, it had something very passionate, something lovingly. Remus eventually ended up on top, kissing Sirius, just as fiercely as Sirius had been kissing him. This time, it was Sirius' turn to let out a soft moan, as Remus' hand travelled along Sirius' thigh. Sirius flopped over again, holding Remus' legs in check with his own, and kissed him, as they moved in a steady pace. Remus was still wearing his jeans, but he didn't seem to care, he just needed Sirius' touch, and his lips. They moved until there was no space for movements, just pressing heat. Remus held on to Sirius, clamping his arms desperately around Sirius' shoulders. It turned out to be the hottest, sweatiest orgasm ever, as they both cried out in ecstasy. Sirius kissed Remus and then looked down, because they had both been wearing underwear.

"I think I'll need another shower." He grinned and pulled Remus up, kissed him again, and carried him upstairs, ready for a shower.

--

Later, when they where both lying in Remus' bed, nicely draped under a black blanket, Sirius' legs hugging Remus' waist, Sirius said: "just in case you hadn't noticed: I like chess, and everything that's attached to it," he stared at the brunette who was looking at the ceiling, a bit bedazzled. "That means I like you, if you still hadn't figured that out."

Remus smiled.

"Yah, I guessed so."

He snuggled deep into Sirius' arms, where he was safe, dozing off, while Sirius stroked his hair.

--

Remus woke up in the middle of the night—he didn't know what had awoken him, until he noticed Sirius wasn't next to him anymore.

"Sirius… where are you?" Remus yelled into the dark.

"Here…" it was coming from the hallway.

Remus ran to the voice. He found the owner of the voice in the bathroom, where Sirius was hanging over the toilet, looking pale and sick.

"Sirius! What happened?"

"Nothing, just a little trouble, I'm okay now you're here, let's go back to bed." Sirius got up, still a little shaky.

"I'll get you something to drink."

Remus went down the stairs, while Sirius went back to Remus' room, and crawled back into Remus' bed. When he came he was carrying two cups of—what else—hot chocolate.

"Here."

Sirius took the cup he was offered. He sat up straight, taking a sip.

"What exactly happened?"

"Had a bad dream, ran to the toilet, threw up."

Sirius looked into the depths of his cup.

"What's wrong Sirius?" Remus asked.

He stared at Sirius, but he didn't want to look up.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked in a silent voice.

Remus blinked.

"When?"

Sirius still didn't look at Remus, this had been bothering him ever since he had seen Remus' scarred skin.

"When it's that time of the month, when we fight… I mean, the scars… they can't all be your doing. I think… maybe I am responsible for… some of them…" Sirius took another sip.

"Sirius, that doesn't matter!" Remus yelled. "I mean… look at your collarbone…" He had given Sirius a nasty scratch there once, but Sirius didn't really mind the scar. He secretly admired it, to him, it was proof that Moony was real, it gave him hope, the pain proved that Moony really was there, and that made him feel… safer. "That was my fault, did you forget about that?" Remus continued. "And honestly, I don't keep track of who gives me scars! All I know is that they're here, and disgusting!"

Sirius looked up, but Remus had turned away a while ago. He didn't like to think about what covered his chest. And he didn't like Sirius knowing either. Though Sirius didn't seem to mind, but still…

"Moony…" Sirius was sitting surprisingly close. "It's okay…" Remus jumped from the bed, and ran away.

"No! it's not! Stop saying that it is Sirius, 'cause it's not!"

He ran down the stairs, and Sirius followed him. Remus opened the front door, and finally stopped. It was dark, but there were three men walking and singing, and coming towards Remus' house. They were probably heading home after a wild night of drinking and stuff like that. Remus stood on the driveway, sighing, and the drunken men came closer. Then Sirius came to stand behind Remus.

"Moony, it's alright by me." Remus turned around, fumbling with the buttons of Sirius' night shirt.

"It's not… they're…" Remus sighed.

"They're words." Sirius decided.

Remus starred at him, wondering what he was talking about. The men were still coming closer.

"And… they tell a very important story Moony, so don't be disgusted by them." Sirius locked his eyes with Remus'.

"What story?"

Sirius smiled.

"Yours," Sirius planted a soft kiss on the smaller man's nose. "Don't think bad about them Moony love, they're part of you. And that's just fine."

A little smile appeared on Remus' face, and now they finally noticed the men. Benjamin was the smallest of them, and the tallest was giving him support.

"Hi Remus." The only man that hadn't been drinking gave a little wave, and the whole group stopped.

Remus turned around, he didn't look all too happy, but then he saw who had said 'hi.'

"O! Hi Joey."

Sirius put a protecting arm around Remus' waist, and gave Benjamin a naughty glare, then he focused on Remus and Joey.

"Hi, I'm Joey." He put out a hand.

Sirius shook it with his own free one, and smiled—he liked Joey already.

"I'm Sirius, nice to meet you."

Benjamin started laughing aloud, and the man supporting him grinned. As he lowered his head to kiss Benjamin, it wasn't hard to notice the taller man's tongue slipping into Benjamin's mouth.

"Never mind them, they're drunk." Joey said.

"Really?" Sirius said sarcastically, without realising he pulled Remus closer.

Joey grinned, and the laughing began again, then the tallest man noticed Sirius and Remus.

"Oi! Remmi! What are you doing here?"

Now Sirius was fully aware of pulling Remus closer. Remus could feel the heat radiating from Sirius' body, and wrapped an arm around Sirius' hip, his hand sort of petting Sirius' back.

"I live here Boris, remember?"

"Of course, but now? Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"Why?" Sirius asked.

Boris looked at him, a nasty grin on his face.

"'Cause that's what good boys do."

"Well, why we're not asleep is none of your business." Sirius snapped.

Benjamin waggled a little bit, held on to Boris, so he wouldn't fall, then said: "don't take it as a… personal attack… we were talking to little old Remus… not to you!"

"Benjamin, don't get in to this, you're drunk, get some sleep." Remus said.

"Puh! Don't tell me what to do! You're just jealous" Benjamin said.

Sirius let out a joyless laugh.

"Jealous? Of what? Disgusting, drunken French kisses? Ha." He mocked.

Remus put the hand that wasn't petting Sirius' back, on Sirius', which was still resting on Remus' stomach, and smiled. Sirius bent down and kissed him. It was something like saying: "he's mine" but that was okay. Remus didn't quite mind being Sirius'. Benjamin went white, and Boris pulled him away.

"Ignore them, come on." Boris gave Joey a glare.

"See you." Joey said, put his hands in his pockets, and followed Boris and Benjamin.

Boris had decided to distract Benjamin, by putting his hand inside of Benjamin's pants, Benjamin just closed his eyes, thinking of Remus.

Sirius turned Remus around, and looked into his amber eyes.

"They're right, good boys should go to bed early." Sirius said.

"Hmm, never knew we were good boys."

"Actually, I agree." Sirius smiled, and with a swift move, he lifted Remus up in his arms.

"Padfoot! What are you doing? Put me down!"

Sirius grinned.

"Nope, I like this." He went inside, closed the door with his foot, and carried Remus upstairs, where he laid Remus on the bed.

Remus stretched out his arms and yawned, his pyjama shirt crawled up to reveal his stomach. There was a thin scar, running above his navel, Sirius looked at it and smiled. No matter what Remus thought, Sirius' mind was made up: Remus was beautiful, and the scars couldn't change it. They actually had a good effect, 'cause every time Sirius saw them, he wanted to touch and kiss them, he wanted to make Remus feel wanted, because he was.

"You have got to be the most wonderful thing I've ever seen" Sirius said in a husky voice.

Remus' eyes started shinning, and he smiled a little, adorable smile.

"Come here Padfoot, please, hold me." He whispered, and Sirius laid himself next to Remus.

Holding him, he whispered in his ear: "you're amazing Remus. You make me forget about all the harm in the world."

"Don't say that Sirius, you're the man that does all of that. And Sirius, really, every time you smile… there're no words for it."

"O Remmi, I don't need words." Sirius backed away a little bit, so he could look into Remus' eyes.

"A kiss?" Remus asked.

"Uhu." Sirius nodded, and Remus kissed his cheek.

"Is that all? And then I'm supposed to be so amazing?"

Remus grinned, then he kissed Sirius nose.

"Hmm… getting a little closer." Sirius turned and lay on his back, Remus bend over Sirius, and kissed his earlobe.

"Now you're getting very cold."

Remus kissed him in the corner of his mouth.

"Mmmm, warmer." Sirius looked at Remus as he backed away.

"Hay! You're not planning on denying me this kiss, are you?"

Remus smiled, not even thinking about not giving him the kiss.

"Maybe."

"No way!" Sirius put his hand on Remus' neck, and pulled him back down.

Sirius kissed him carefully, and very slowly, making sure to enjoy every second of it. Remus felt Sirius taking hold of his hips, pressing Remus' against his own. It was marvellous, the way there hips seemed to be made for each other. Sirius let out a stifled moan, and then… the bell rang. Remus opened his eyes, and sighed.

"Okay… we'd better open it, maybe we're able to make them go away fast, but it could be serious, seeming it's so late." Remus said, and got up, not really wanting to, he waited for Sirius to follow him.

"Who on earth is dumb enough to disturb at such a moment?" Sirius muttered, as Remus opened the door.

It was Joey… and Benjamin. Benjamin's face had blood on it, and his eyes were closed.

"Come in." Remus said, without hesitating Joey helped Benjamin into the kitchen.

Remus looked at Sirius.

"I'm sorry." He said, with a mournful face.

"Don't be, it's in your nature to help people, even when they're total arses."

Sirius kissed Remus, and they went into the kitchen. Benjamin was sitting on a chair, his eyes still closed, Joey was waiting by the door.

"Remus, I'm so sorry about this, Boris just flipped, and I didn't know where to go, your place was close, really, sorry."

"That's okay, what happened?"

"Well…" Joey looked at Sirius. "Okay… so well, you probably noticed Boris being more interested in Benjamin then Benjamin in Boris." Remus and Sirius nodded, and Joey continued. "So when you guys kissed, Benjamin got, well… looser then he already was, and Boris saw that as an opportunity to… do things he wasn't supposed to do. At first Benjamin didn't even notice, Boris just was kind of dragging him, and well touching Benjamin and stuff. Benjamin's eyes were closed, I'm sure he was nearly sleeping, and it wasn't until he opened his eyes that he noticed that it was Boris, and not who ever it had been in his day-dream sort of thing. Benjamin stumbled away, Boris followed him, I followed both of them, Benjamin said 'no', Boris hit him, and forced his pants down. Luckily I found a branch before anything happened, I sneaked up behind Boris, and hit him on the head, after I made sure he was still breathing, I helped Benjamin here. As I said, your house was close, if I would've went to my place, Boris might've caught in on us or something, and he's definitely stronger. I'm sure by tomorrow he won't even know it happened, but for now…" Joey looked at Benjamin. "Can I… use the water or something? I don't think it's that bad, but it's best if I…" Joey lost track of what he was saying, and Remus nodded.

"You can stay too, you'll have to share my parents bed though."

"That's great, thanks," Joey went to the sink "but what about your guest, where will he… O, right, sorry." He smiled knowingly at them and went over to Benjamin.

"Let me see Ben." He turned Benjamin's head.

"Leave it," Benjamin grunted, but Joey started washing his face with a cold washcloth. "I said leave it." Benjamin pushed Joey's hand away. "It' my own dumb fault. I should've know! But really… can you believe Remus?" Remus froze, he had been about to help Joey.

Benjamin obviously didn't know Remus was anywhere near them.

"God! It makes me so mad!" Joey shook his head.

"What happened between you was your fault too Benjamin, don't forget about that, be glad Remus is happy now." He put the washcloth on Benjamin's face.

"What do I have to Remus' happiness if I'm not part of it." Benjamin closed his eyes again.

"Doesn't matter Ben, if we really love people, we just want them to be happy."

"I don't give a damn! It's not right! I want him! He should be mine!"

"Don't be that way Ben, don't act like you're able to owe a person, and as for Remus," Joey smiled at Remus. "He'll never be yours, and that's all your own fault! As I said, he's happy now, that's important."

"Puhh, I don't care."

"Then don't ever say that you love me again Benjamin," Remus said angrily and walked over to Sirius again. "Joey, you know my parents' room, right, you can use it, make sure to close all the doors, we'll be in my room if you need anything."

As Remus and Sirius walked away, Benjamin opened his eyes.

"He heard all of it?"

Joey nodded, and Benjamin sighed.

--

Remus sat down on Sirius' legs and smiled. Remus was about to kiss Sirius, when Sirius turned around to look at the door.

'Knock knock.'

"Come i…" the door opened at the exact moment that Remus turned Sirius' head and kissed him.

Sirius grinned and pulled Remus closer. When Remus pulled away, he nipped Sirius' lip for a couple of seconds, and then kissed his nose.

"Erm…" Joey went red.

It was he who had knocked, half and half supporting Benjamin.

"O, sorry. What's wrong?" Remus shifted a bit on Sirius' lap.

"The door of your parents' room is locked." Joey said.

"Right, could've figured. You guys take the bed, I'll find some mattresses, come on Sirri." Remus got up and dragged Sirius along with him.

--

"There have to be some in here" Remus looked around, currently standing in the attic, he looked around, found what he was looking for, and together with Sirius, took the mattresses to the bedroom.

--

When they came back Joey was asleep, and Benjamin was pretending to be. Benjamin lay near the door, and Remus and Sirius lay the mattresses next to the bed, next to Benjamin. Sirius lay on the mattress that was closest to Benjamin—he didn't like the idea of that freak being so close to his Remmi—and as soon as he was down, Remus crawled on top of him. Benjamin couldn't make out what they were saying, but he loved to watch Remus, then all of a sudden…

"I love you Sirri." Remus purred and let his head rest on Sirius' chest.

"I know Remus dear, I love you too." Sirius gave Remus a kiss, and carefully lay Remus down, so now he was on top.

Remus wrapped his legs around Sirius' waist, and brushed Sirius' legs with his feet. Sirius kissed Remus' neck, and Remus just held on to Sirius, kissing his shoulder.

"Sirri…" Remus turned over, finding himself on top again.

"What's wrong?" Sirius looked up, happy to see that Remus was smiling.

"I have to tell you something." Remus sat up straight.

Benjamin listened carefully and Sirius leaned on his elbows.

"What's that than?"

Remus stroked Sirius' cheek.

"I really meant that I love you." Remus whispered.

Sirius smiled and cupped Remus' face, brought it to his own and kissed Remus' soft lips.

"I meant it when I said I love you to Remus."

Remus laid his head on Sirius' chest, and they both fell asleep. Benjamin wasn't able to sleep until he imagined it was him lying under Remus.

--

When Remus woke up it was already noon, and there was a note on Sirius' empty pillow.

_My dearest Moony,_

_I'm already up, didn't want to wake you, 'cause you're just to darn cute when you sleep. So I'm probably in the kitchen with Joey, he's nice._

_All the love in the world,_

_Your Padfoot_

Remus smiled and closed his eyes, ready to fall asleep again.

"Hi." A voice suddenly said.

The brunette quickly turned around and looked up. Benjamin was still lying in bed, on his side, looking at Remus.

"What do you want?" Remus looked at him in a mad sort of way.

"You had fun last night?" Benjamin asked.

"O please!" Remus turned around again.

He was almost back asleep, when someone started petting his arm. Remus turned in shock, it was Benjamin.

"Benjamin, leave me." Remus said.

"No."

"Fine." Remus got up, and went down.

Benjamin stayed behind, sighing.

--

When Benjamin opened the kitchen door a little bit, he could see Joey, Remus and Sirius. Remus was sitting on Sirius' lap, sleeping, with his head on Sirius' shoulder, and both of his legs on the same side of Sirius' body. Joey and Sirius where talking.

"How do you know Remus?" Joey asked.

"We go to school together. And well, it just… fitted I guess. I mean… we look a lot like each other. You may not get that, but it's the truth. He's just so great and all. I'm just lucky I guess." Sirius smiled and kissed Remus' forehead.

"How about you? Are you seeing anyone?" Sirius asked.

"Well," Joey looked at Sirius, and got red "until yesterday, I was seeing Boris. I broke up with him in the morning, Benjamin invited both of us at night… so… yah."

Joey sighed.

"With Boris?" Sirius looked as if he was going to be sick.

"We're not all as fortunate as you Sirius. Remus' one of a kind. He's amazing, and he deserves to be happy, whatever happiness may mean to him." Joey smiled, Remus moved, and Sirius went a bit white.

Remus was stroking his privet parts. Without knowing of course. But still, Sirius was getting a little hot.

"Erm… Sweety… wake up." Sirius shook Remus, but he just grunted, Joey gave him a strange look, and Sirius put up a fake smile.

"Remus dear… come on… wake up!"

Nothing. Sirius could feel something rising… not good.

"Remus!"

Sirius took Remus' hands and placed them on the table. Yah, and now he opened his eyes.

"What's…" Remus yawned, and Sirius bent forwards, whispering in Remus' ear: "let's wait 'till Joey's gone before we continue that."

Remus blinked, Sirius grinned, and Benjamin came in.

"Good morning." he said.

"Hi." Joey smiled a little bit, and Remus still looked confused.

Benjamin sat down in the chair next to Sirius'.

"Didn't you have a good night sleep?" he mocked.

"None of your business." Remus snuggled deeper into Sirius' neck.

Sirius petted Remus' back, and exchanged a look with Joey.

"Yah, so what did I do this time?"

"You know what I think Benjamin?" Remus said. Benjamin looked at him, curiosity spread all over his face. "I think that if you have enough strength to be a total arse, you probably also have enough strength to walk the two streets home…now!" Remus pointed at the door.

"Well maybe I will!" Benjamin snapped.

"Oh no Benjamin, there's no 'maybe' in that sentence! Go!" there was an angry glare in Remus' eyes, and they were about to shoot fire.

"Fine!" Benjamin's face went red as he got up, and walked out of the house.

"I'm sorry, but who knows what he'll do?" Joey said, and walked over to Remus and Sirius.

He gave Remus a kiss on his cheek, and offered Sirius a hand.

"It was nice talking to you Sirius. See you both later." he left too.

Remus sighed.

"Was I rude?"

"Only to Benjamin, and who cares about that? He's a bastard!"

Remus dropped his head on Sirius shoulder.

"Are you still tired?"

Remus closed his eyes and nodded.

"O, you poor thing. Come on, let's get you up."

Sirius lifted Remus and carried him upstairs. Remus would never be amazed by Sirius' strength, or his grace, and beauty. Remus dozed of soon enough. At first, he tried to stay awake, looking at Sirius, who was sitting next to him, and was looking outside the window. And at first, that was okay. Remus summed up (in his head) all the good things about Sirius.

'He's amazing,' Remus thought. 'His hair is so… perfect. And shinny and black. I've never seen hair like his, so dark. Like everything is light compared to his black hair. It's magic. And his eyes… his eyes are so…' Remus halted his thoughts.

How could he possibly describe Sirius' eyes? And all the things he saw in there? He would never be able to, and that kept him awake.

"Are you asleep?" Sirius whispered.

"Sort of." Remus yawned.

"What's keeping you up?"

"Nothing really…"

Remus turned around, still thinking about Sirius' eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"Yah."

"Okay." Sirius went back to staring outside the window.

Not long after that Remus fell asleep, in his head still thinking about Sirius eyes.

--

"Are you sleeping?" Sirius asked.

No answer. Sirius let out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. He stretched and got up. He was in pain, serious pain. Lucius had torn him, it felt as if people had been kicking him all over his body. Sirius wouldn't tell Remus. He felt as if he had already been too much of a burden.

Sirius slowly walked over to the bathroom and locked the door. Then he wondered what he'd do next. He was planning on sitting on the floor first, but his backside felt as if it was on fire, so that wasn't a good idea. He walked over to the sink instead, splattered his face with some water, and looked in the mirror. It seemed so long ago that he had been standing in a bathroom at Hogwarts, gripping on to a sink, while Remus dropped to his knees and took care of every single inch of Sirius' broken body. It seemed so far away, but Sirius remembered it all as if it was yesterday. Every single drop of rain that touched his skin that night. And in the nights after that crucial one, even Remus couldn't stop him from having bad dreams about Lucius.

Sirius sighed and walked over to the door, he opened it and looked at Remus, who was having some sort of uneasy struggle.

"Sirius," Remus' hoarse voice whispered. Said man walked over to the bed, where Remus' amber eyes were staring at him drowsily. "What's wrong?"

"I needed to go to the loo," Sirius lied. "You still sleepy?"

"No." Remus sat up straight. "You wanna do something?" He asked.

"What?" Sirius sat down next to Remus.

"Je ne sais pas." Remus said.

"Okay… let's go down first."

Sirius got up and offered Remus a hand, but Remus didn't take it.

"I was just wondering, how's your back?"

"Erm…" Sirius frowned slightly—he was in pain. His back hurt, so did his arse. But he couldn't very well just say that.

"Come, lie down, I'll have a look."

Sirius took his shirt of, and lay down on his stomach, with his head turned, so Remus could give him a soft kiss.

"Is it that bad?" Sirius asked, as Remus kissed him again.

Remus said nothing, he knew Sirius was making fun. He sat carefully on Sirius' legs, and traced patterns on Sirius' back. There were little purple marks on it, and a couple of wounds that still hadn't healed.

"So?"

"It's… better. Does it still hurt?"

"A little. But…" Sirius didn't feel like telling Remus.

"What?" Remus asked, feeling the hesitation.

'No! You will not tell him your arse hurts!'

"Nothing." he said aloud.

"Sirius, tell me."

"No! It's nothing." Sirius said.

Remus got off Sirius' legs.

"Tell me."

'Don't!'

"I… no. Remus it's nothing."

Sirius' hand reached to pet Remus' face, but Remus pulled away.

"Tell me."

"It's okay Remus." Sirius looked at him, he looked hurt.

"It's not okay! Since when are we against the whole part where we tell each other stuff?"

"We're not…"

"Then tell me."

"Fine! My fucking arse hurts! That's it."

Sirius got up, and before Remus could even blink, he locked himself up in the bathroom again. Remus ran to the bathroom door, and knocked hard.

"Sirius, come out! You should've just told me!"

"No! Just get it! I don't want you to think I'm weak! I've always been… tough! I mean… come on! You wouldn't get it! What would James think if he saw me like this?"

On the other side of the door, Sirius sunk to the floor, not caring if his arse hurt or not, he started sobbing, but not too loud, he didn't need Remus to hear him.

"Sirius, honestly! James isn't here! And he'd get it! And even if he wouldn't… get over the pride part of this whole thing! You're hurt, and it's nothing to be ashamed of!"

Sirius turned and sat on his knees, he didn't know Remus was sitting at the other side of the door, in the exact same way.

Remus was right, of course he was, but that didn't make it easier.

"Sirius…" Remus could hear Sirius moving behind the door.

"Remus…" Sirius whispered, and placed his hands on the door.

How he wished he could get beyond all of this. All of the 'I need to be the one that's never sad, never suffers' because he knew, to Moony, that didn't matter.

"Sirius… open the door."

'No. You're crying. He can't know.'

There it was again, that voice. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, Remus couldn't know.

"Sirius, come on."

"I can't."

"Why the hell not?" Remus sounded upset. "Come on Sirius, just open the door, so I can see you." He whispered.

"Why would you want to?"

"Why would I want to? Sirius, you're perfect! Why wouldn't I want to see you? I _love_ you!" Remus practically yelled at the door.

Sirius knew he meant it. He'd be able to come to Remus, his face red and swollen from crying, worn-out clothes, his hair a mess, and Remus would still love him. Sirius put his hand on the doorknob, on the other side of the door, Remus looked at it, it slowly moved, and the door opened.

Remus looked at the still, stunningly beautiful face of Sirius. He had cried, still was, but only a little bit. He noticed that Sirius was sitting in the same way he was, and it made him smile. Remus came closer, and whipped away Sirius' tears, after that, he pulled Sirius against him.

"My sweet, poor Sirius." He whispered, and Sirius continued sobbing.

He ignored the voice that was screaming that he should 'run! Run for your live!' and held on to Remus, who was whispering soothing words.

"Remus… I'm… sorry." Sirius whispered.

"What for?"

"Everything." Sirius said, and Remus helped him get up.

"Don't be," Remus and Sirius walked over to the bed, where Sirius sat down, Remus went to the bathroom again, and came back with a wet washcloth. "Come on, turn around."

So Sirius lay on his stomach again, and Remus cleaned his backside, as he had done before, caressing the purple marks, and every now and then, bended over to kiss Sirius as he flinched when Remus would hurt him. At the end of all the suffering, Remus lay next to Sirius, and they just talked. About everything and nothing. Things that might be relevant, but didn't really matter at that time. And after that Remus held Sirius, and rocked him, until he fell asleep.

--

"Moony…" Remus opened his eyes.

He had closed them after Sirius was safe in his arms, he wasn't really sleeping, just resting his eyes, ready to hurt whoever tried to hurt his sweet, beautiful Sirius.

Now he looked down at the older boy, still lying in his arms, but his eyes were also open, and he looked a little worried.

"What's wrong?" Remus softly stroked the hair from Sirius' face.

"What if he comes here?" Sirius whispered.

"Lucius? Why would he come here? To a muggle home, in a muggle street?" Remus stared into Sirius' eyes.

"It wouldn't surprise me—he's weird and dangerous that way. And I don't… he can't… come here… I wouldn't be able to ever forgive myself if he hurt you." Sirius whispered.

"Don't worry Sirius. He won't come here, and if he does, we'll deal with it then." Remus kissed Sirius' nose, and Sirius nodded drowsy-ish.

"Go back to sleep." Remus added, and again Sirius nodded.

He fell asleep again, staying in Remus' arms, feeling very safe. Remus also closed his eyes again, but he didn't sleep, he just thought, and dozed in peacefully, but he didn't really sleep.

"Moony…" Sirius whispered again.

Remus' eyes shot open, alerted once more.

"What's wrong?"

"I love you." Sirius said.

He lifted his head a little, and waited for Remus to kiss him. Remus, who wasn't one to let you down, bent over and kissed Sirius carefully.

"I love you too." Remus whispered, and Sirius smiled a little smile, then closed his eyes again.

--

When Remus opened his eyes again, he realised he had indeed been sleeping, no matter what he thought about 'just closing his eyes', and also, that Sirius wasn't next to him anymore.

"Sirius. Where are you?"

"Here." His voice came from right next to the bed.

Remus sat up straight, looked over the rim of the bed, and saw Sirius, on the floor, doing some sort of strange body-exercise.

"What are you doing?" Remus had to admit, he looked hot.

"Exercises… as you can… see." He sat up straight for a second, and continued.

"Yah sure, but why?"

"I'm hoping it'll… take the sore feeling… away."

"I don't want to be rude, but how are abdomen exercises gonna help you? Wouldn't it be better if I just give you an aspirin or something?" Remus got out of bed.

"That's okay Remmi. It'll pass. And, this way, I stay fit." Sirius sat up again, and pulled Remus on his lap—he was a bit sweaty.

"Like you need it." Remus said with a smile.

Sirius kissed him.

"You know, I think I wanna play chess again…" Sirius grinned. "You know, everything that's attached to it… but then… without the chess." Sirius' grin grew even wider as Remus smiled.

"We could do that." Remus whispered.

Sirius pushed Remus into the soft carpet and kissed him fiercely. Chess, without the chess.

**AN: I hate this fic. And it hates me. So, overall, we've agreed to just hate each other. Ain't that nice? Sorry guys, but I didn't really reread properly... I just hate it so much—words do not exist for the hating of this fic! I could go on forever about everything that I hate about this fic—the clichés, the 'I love you's, but I'll spare you the nagging. Let it be said that Crazy4Moony hates her own fic, and that she wants to go back into the future and murder it before it came into existence—she is planning on using a rubber duck to accomplish this, but don't ask her why.**

**Chapter four turned out to be a very short one—six pages long or something, so I'll update immediately after three :)**


	4. Chapter four: Parents

IV.

Chapter four: Parents.

The next day, Sirius had a little surprise for Remus. Lots of wizarding candy, gotten by post-order-owl. It made Remus smile. And they made a secret stash under the bed. And Remus cared for Sirius wounds. And they played chess without the chess again.

The following weeks, were mostly about them. Remus and Sirius. Remus would learn Sirius to just accept the fact that he could be hurt, because he was human. Sirius would learn Remus to give some good aimed punches, not that he really needed it, but these 'lessons' would always evolve into hot make-out sessions, which were held all around the house.

After four weeks of pure fun, love, sometimes pain, Remus and Sirius were sitting on the couch, waiting for Remus' parents to come home. Remus had decided not to tell his parents right away. It wouldn't matter anyway, his parents knew he was gay, and that he liked Sirius a lot. He had talked about the marauders, but mostly about Sirius. He had decided to give his parents little hints instead. Touches of the hand, little 'reward kisses', mysterious 'I want to totally ravish you' grins, and of course, with Remus' parents coming home, the full moon came closer too. The last full moon had been the day before the end of Hogwarts. Remus' parents had promised him to be home for the full moon, so they could at least care for his wounds. But now Sirius was here, he would be there during the full moon, he would care for Moony afterwards too.

Personally, Sirius didn't like the way Remus' parents handled his furry problem. The Lupins had a way of handling it. A way Sirius thought was disgraceful!

The street that Remus lived in sat on a hill. A hill, that sat on another hill. So, we have two hills; a smaller hill, and a big hill. No one ever came on the big hill. Only the Lupins. Once a month. No one ever came there, because of, one: the fact that there was an enormous forest there, a pretty creepy, enormous forest, and two: because of the scary noises that were heard. As if there was a wolf there, once a month. Of course, there was, but the people didn't know that, and they weren't brave enough to go and find out. Which was handy, really. So once a month, Remus' parents brought him there, dumped him in the middle of the forest, and drove away. In the morning, they went to find their son, and they took care of his wounds. It made Sirius sick. How could they leave beautiful, talented Remus alone, at the time he most needed someone to remind him he was human.

Sirius was awoken from this storm of thought by the telephone. Remus got up, and answered it.

"Hello, Lupin here."

Sirius looked at Remus.

"O. That's not good. When will you be home then?"

Sirius could hear someone answer.

"Right, sure, we'll be here. Yes, bye mom. Yah, love you too."

Remus put the phone down, and looked at Sirius.

"Their train is late. They don't know when exactly they'll be home, but they promised it'd be tonight."

"Oh, poor Remmi, you had hoped on seeing them soon, right?" Sirius smiled at Remus.

"Yah, but they'll be here, so that's no problem, just… they don't know when, that's all."

Sirius pulled Remus on his lap, so his legs were each on a different side of Sirius' body, and so Sirius could softly kiss him.

"If you don't mind, I'm gonna lie down now, 'cause I'm sort of tired." Sirius said, and lied down, with Remus on top of him.

Remus smiled and relaxed.

"You mind if I stay?"

"Of course not! I think I'd be upset if you left." Sirius said, and kissed Remus tenderly.

Remus smiled and stayed where he was, enjoying it, and before he knew, he was dead asleep, just like Sirius.

When Remus' parents, finally arrived home, it was past midnight, and Remus was still asleep on top of an unknown boy, who they recognised to be Sirius Black, they knew because of the black hair, and because they were quite positive that Remus was just a teeny, tiny bit in love with him. They went upstairs, to their own room, and they too fell asleep.

--

BOINK.

"AUW!"

"O, God, Moony! Sorry, I forgot!" Sirius helped Remus get on top of him again.

See, Sirius had turned round in his sleep, forgetting all about Remus, who was sleeping on Sirius, and just sort of toppled him off the couch.

"Yah, sure, you just forgot all about the fact that there was a person sleeping on top of you?" Remus huffed.

"Aw, I'm sorry Moony, you okay?" Sirius' hands went under Remus' shirt caressing Remus' hips, and pulling him down.

"Puhh." Remus sighed.

Sirius grinned and kissed Remus, his tongue slipping into Remus' mouth, to explore every inch, as if it was the first time.

Then, they heard people come down the stairs. Remus sat up straight, and frowned. His sleepy parents entered the living room.

"Are you okay? We heard noises and…" Remus' mother yawned.

"Mom! Dad! You're home!" Remus got off of Sirius and hugged his parents.

Sirius smiled and sat up too.

"Yes, but you were sleeping. So what happe…" she yawned again, and Remus' father had closed his eyes.

"Fell of the couch. How long have you been home?"

Remus' mother looked at the clock.

"Three hours and a half."

"Ow. Sorry for waking you. Oh, this is Sirius by the way." Remus looked at Sirius, who got up and offered Remus' mother a hand.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Emily, and this is Richa…" she looked at her husband, and got a little red. "Richard, wake up," she stomped her husband. "Let's get to bed, we can talk in the morning, is that okay?" She said when Richard refused to move.

"Sure." Sirius smiled.

"Come on Richard." Emily helped her sleepy husband, and smiled as Sirius held Remus around the waist, and helped him up the stairs.

He whispered: "come Sweety." When he thought Emily wasn't listening, but she heard it anyway.

--

"So, your parents seem nice." Sirius said, and Remus closed the door to his bedroom.

"They are." Remus crawled into the bed.

Sirius lay himself next to Remus, who looked sort of confused, because Sirius wasn't lying under the blanket.

"Is something wrong?" Remus asked.

"I'm just wondering, I can still kiss you, right?" Sirius mumbled, blushing a little.

"Of course." Remus smiled, lay an arm around Sirius' neck, and pulled him in for a kiss.

"But… what about the chess, without the chess?" Sirius whispered against Remus' lips.

"Oh, we'll figure something out." Remus pulled Sirius on top of himself.

"Hmm…" Sirius let out a moan, and kissed his neck.

"I love you." He whispered, and Remus gave him another kiss.

"Love you too."

Sirius rested his head on Remus' chest, and not much later, they fell asleep.

--

"Now, tell me, how was school?"

Emily, Sirius and Remus were sitting in the kitchen, having breakfast. Richard was still asleep.

"School was…" Remus looked at Sirius for a minute. "Very… school-ish." He decided.

"Right." Emily lifted a brow.

Sirius smiled. She looked a bit like Remus, when he lifted his brows. Not in a hot way, but still, a bit the same. Different though, because when Remus lifted his brows, in mockery or disbelief, Sirius had an urge to show Remus what he could do, besides chess without the chess.

"And, how is your family? And your house?" Emily asked, focusing on Sirius, since her son obviously didn't feel like giving her a proper answer.

And anyways, Remus had never told her about Sirius' family. So why not ask about it now?

"Well, my family, they're all nutters. My mom has sex with my cousin, my father lets her, my brother only talks to me when nobody sees, and we have a crazy house-elf, whose biggest ambition is to be decapitated. As for the house, the only part of it that isn't infected by my lovely family, is the library. And even when you're in there, there's a good change you go mad. Besides that, we're a perfectly normal family, living in a perfectly normal house." Sirius smiled.

"Don't mind him," Remus whispered to his mother, knowing Sirius could still hear him. "He's obviously as crazy as the rest of them."

Sirius grinned.

"I'm only crazy for Moony, as you very well know Remus." Sirius said with a wink, Remus blushed a little.

"O, are you now? I thought you were also crazy for Prongs?" Remus shyly grinned.

"Well, that's only to make you jealous, Remus dear." At this comment Remus got even redder, and his mother smiled.

"Well, this said, does anyone want this?" Emily pointed at her plate.

There was a piece of chocolate cake there. They had all had one piece, but Remus' mother didn't want hers. Sirius smiled as Remus' eyes grew as wide as Emily's plate. He certainly wanted it.

"Now, I think," Sirius said, picking up the piece, Remus' eyes followed it hungrily. "That Remus wants it. Here you go Sweety. Eat it. Enjoy it. 'Cause you look so darn cute when you do that." He placed the piece on Remus' plate.

"Hmm, being cute comes in handy." Remus said.

Sirius moved his chair closer to the table, and placed his foot (which was covered by a greenish sock) on the edge of Remus' chair, just between his legs.

Remus didn't notice at first, he was too busy eating cake. But when Sirius moved it, softly rubbing Remus' thighs, Remus' eyes grew wide again, and he looked at Sirius. Sirius just smiled happily, as if he was not rubbing Remus' thigh with his foot. As if he wasn't making Remus really hot.

"And what about you Misses Lupin? You like the house?" Sirius asked politely, totally ignoring the fact that his foot was turning Remus on.

"Well, the house fits us, I believe, doesn't it Remus?" she looked at her son.

Remus just nodded, he was afraid that if he'd talk, his voice would fail him.

"It's not too big, and just perfect for three people. Of course, there's no library here, as you must know, we're not that… wealthy, but we have everything we need. We have our privacy, we have the forest, no one ever comes there, and that comes in handy, right Remus?" Again, Remus just nodded, and his mother continued talking.

Sirius now started rubbing Remus' inner thigh. Sirius' toes started tip-toeing, and he made circles too.

On the inside, Remus was going mad, his mind working top speed, trying to progress what was going on: 'oh God! That's great… no! Remus! Concentrate! Think about something else! Snape in bikini! Yah… that helps.' Remus relaxed a bit.

'Snape in bikini.' Was a huge hit if you wanted to stop yourself from getting hot.

But Sirius didn't give up. He continued making circles, going up and down, and up and down.

'Oh really… now that's just…' Remus didn't even want to think about anything else anymore, he just leaned back, and relaxed.

But then…

'Oh my God!'

Sirius started rubbing, well, more… softly caressing Remus' privet parts.

'Fuck! This is going too far! If you don't do something soon, things will be rising!'

Remus didn't know what to do. He swallowed hard, Sirius grinned as he saw the red blush on Remus' face. Remus liked it. He really did, but with his mother… honestly.

"…anyways, I have to change now, have to get to work in an hour." Emily got up, smiling.

She went to her bedroom, to get ready for work.

In the kitchen, Remus moved away as soon as his mother left.

"You're mad!" He said.

"Oh, am I? Why?" Sirius got off his chair and sat on bended knees before Remus. He placed his hand on Remus' thigh, and made figures with his thumb.

"You can't just go and turn me on when my mother's here. That's…" Remus sighed, Sirius didn't really care, he just continued rubbing.

"Well, I'm sorry, I didn't know I was turning you on." Sirius grinned.

"Yah, sure."

Sirius placed his free hand behind Remus' neck, and brought his own forehead to Remus'. Remus looked into Sirius' beautiful, grey eyes. They were a stormy kind of grey, with a hint of blue. Their noses touched, and Remus smiled. Moments like these would last for ever, if he had it his way.

"I love you Padfoot." He whispered.

"I love you too Moony." Sirius kissed Remus.

Their foreheads were still touching, and Sirius deepened the kiss. When Sirius pulled back, they heard people come down the stairs. Remus' mother and father.

"Hi…" Remus' father smiled and yawned.

His mother sat down again, she was already dressed, Remus' father didn't have to be at work for an other hour and a half.

"Good morning." Remus and Sirius said.

Sirius stayed where he was, but he stopped rubbing Remus' thigh.

"Do you want tea or coffee?" Emily asked.

Richard sat down next to Remus.

"I'll have coffee dear."

Emily smiled and offered her husband a cup.

"Thank you."

Sirius looked at Emily and Richard. They seemed happy. Emily made a teasing remark about her husband being so sleepy, Richard laughed it away by pointing out that it had been a short night. As she took away Remus and Sirius there plates, she complained about 'her' Richard never helping around the house, he just grabbed her around her waist, pulled her onto his lap and kissed her, whilst exclaiming that 'his' Emily did enough for the both of them.

Sirius liked to look at them. They looked like a perfect family. Teasing a little, but in the end, still in love. He'd like to have something like that when he was older.

As Emily poked her husband and put the dishes in the dishwasher, Sirius looked at her eyes. He was good at reading peoples eyes, and hers spoke of so many things. Trust, friendship, secrecy, 'kiss me', 'need me', 'love me', and so much more. Her eyes smiled, just like Remus' did when he was truly happy. Emily and Remus' their eyes smiled more then there mouths could ever.

Sirius looked up when he felt Remus' hand on his own. Remus was smiling at him, and rubbed Sirius' hand with his thumb. Sirius didn't smile back. He had just realised something. He wanted it. The whole package. The happiness. The marriage. Wedding anniversaries. Sharing a bed. No secrecy. Living together. Growing old together. Die together. All of it. And he wanted it with Remus J. Lupin.

Sirius looked at him again, he stared back, a worried look on his face. Sirius managed to smile a little smile. It was then that he noticed he was still on his knees. He took Remus' hand, and sat on his chair, still holding hands with the brunette.

"Okay," Emily began. "Now, I'm leaving soon, but Remus, do you want me to make your bed before I go?"

"Oh, you don't have to do that Misses Lupin, it'll be a mess again tomorrow anyway." Sirius' smile widened.

"Now, that's a smart boy." Richard said.

"Thank you sir." Sirius replied.

"So, that's a 'no'?"

"That's a 'no', it'll save you the trouble mum." Remus said.

Emily smiled.

"Well, I'm off then, see you tonight." She kissed her husband, whispered a quick "I love you." Against his lips, and turned to Remus.

"You're gonna be okay? I can stay if you want me too." She stared at her son.

For a minute, Sirius wondered what they were talking about, then, he knew. It was almost full moon, and Remus always got a little sensitive around that time. Sirius gave Remus' hand a squeeze for comfort.

"I'll be just fine mum. And by the way, Sirius is here now. He'll take care of me, won't you?" They both looked at Sirius.

"Of course! For always and ever!"

"Right, 'cause you're only crazy for Moony." Emily winked knowingly.

She gave both Remus and Sirius a kiss on there cheek.

"Bye, o, and we're having chicken tonight." She left.

"Hey, does your mum know about the names?" Sirius asked.

"Nope, she's just smart." Remus smiled.

"Just like you than." Sirius then concentrated on Richard, he was lazily sipping coffee, and looked distracted.

"Are you okay sir?" Sirius asked.

Richard blinked, looked at Sirius, then at his son, and then back at Sirius.

"I'm fine, thank you." He smiled a little, and looked at Remus again.

Remus and Richard exchanged looks. Remus shook his head slightly in a warning way. He also mouthed a couple of words that made Richard sigh, and he rolled his eyes, as if to tell Remus he was mad.

Sirius looked at them, they seemed to have some sort of fight, but then a non-verbal one.

Then Richard said: "I'm gonna take a shower." And left without another word.

"Okay," Sirius looked at Remus. "What was that all about?"

"Just something between me and my father, never mind that."

"Right… so… let's go upstairs." Sirius decided it would be best if he let it rest for some time.

Remus would tell him when he felt that it was right. There was no use trying to force Remus into telling. That'd only cause trouble.

"Come on!" Sirius pulled Remus on his feet and up the stairs.

"But…" Remus protested.

"Now, come on," Sirius said "you need too… erm… take care of me." He ended.

"Take care of you?"

Sirius nodded.

"Come on. I'll explain." Sirius dragged Remus into his bedroom.

As soon as he had closed the door, he took off his pyjama.

"My back and… well, the rest." He whispered.

Remus gave him a little kiss.

"Lie down." He pointed at the bed.

Sirius lay down, and Remus sat next to him, and softly caressed his back. He washed it with a moist washcloth, then, he carefully pulled Sirius' boxers down. He washed Sirius' backside too, and kissed Sirius once when he flinched.

"So?"

"It's okay. Just one purple mark left." Remus said and smiled.

"And my ass?" Sirius got a little red.

"Just fine." Remus gave on of Sirius' buttocks a kiss, and helped him get his boxers on again.

Remus lay down and looked at Sirius, who turned around and looked back.

"You're okay." Remus said.

"I'm fine." Sirius nodded.

"Are you sure?" Remus asked.

"Hey! You said I was!" Sirius huffed.

"Yah, but are you?"

"If I wouldn't be, then you wouldn't say that I am, right?"

"Yah."

"So, I'm fine." Sirius tried to smile.

"But are you sure?" Remus whispered.

"Let's just skip the whole 'sure' part. I'm fine, as long as you stay with me." Sirius petted Remus' face.

Remus smiled and then a voice came calling towards them: "I'm leaving now! Bye!" They heard a door slam.

"Was that your father leaving?" Sirius whispered, as if Richard might be standing right outside, with his ear against Remus' bedroom door.

Remus nodded.

"Aha. I need a hug." Sirius decided.

"What on earth for?" Remus lifted a brow.

"Since when do I need a reason? And I'll need a kiss for that." Sirius whined.

Remus rolled his eyes, though he obviously liked it.

"But if you don't want to, you don't have to. I can't make you, and…" Sirius was interrupted by Remus' lips, meeting his.

They spent the whole day in bed, talking, kissing, hugging, and just enjoying each others company.

Sirius didn't tell Remus about his thought of the family thing; he should've told him. It isn't good to keep secrets. Certainly not about love.

Remus didn't tell Sirius about the little fight with his father; he should've told him. It isn't good to keep secrets. Certainly not about disapproval.

**AN: Yes! That's it! No, this fic isn't finished, you're not rid of me yet! What I meant is: the next chapter isn't completely written yet :D Stupid younger me didn't finish :D Muhahaha! Expect old Crazy4Moony back! She's taking over this fic from now one! Lucky me, because next up is a lemon-ish bit :D Haha, I hope you guys are gonna love: Chapter five: sweating :D Btw, I'm sure you guys now think I have a chicken fetish—and admitted, I could just let Remus' mum leave without a mention of dinner. But I dunno, I decided it sucked without that part so it didn't really matter whether it stayed in or not. I was too darn lazy to select and erase—it's late for me people! 2:58 in the evening/night/morning is hardly a good time! Ah well... hope you'll enjoy 'sweating' :D**


	5. Chapter five: Sweating

V.

Chapter five: sweating

"Now, tell me, how was school?"

Emily, Sirius and Remus were sitting in the kitchen, having breakfast. Richard was still asleep.

"School was…" Remus looked at Sirius for a minute. "Very… school-ish." He decided.

"Right." Emily lifted a brow.

Sirius smiled. She looked a bit like Remus, when he lifted his brows. Not in a hot way, but still, a bit the same. Different though, because when Remus lifted his brows, in mockery or disbelief, Sirius had an urge to show Remus what he could do, besides chess without the chess.

"And, how is your family? And your house?" Emily asked, focusing on Sirius, since her son obviously didn't feel like giving her a proper answer.

And anyways, Remus had never told her about Sirius' family. So why not ask about it now?

"Well, my family, they're all nutters. My mom has sex with my cousin, my father lets her, my brother only talks to me when nobody sees, and we have a crazy house-elf, whose biggest ambition is to be decapitated. As for the house, the only part of it that isn't infected by my lovely family, is the library. And even when you're in there, there's a good change you go mad. Besides that, we're a perfectly normal family, living in a perfectly normal house." Sirius smiled.

"Don't mind him," Remus whispered to his mother, knowing Sirius could still hear him. "He's obviously as crazy as the rest of them."

Sirius grinned.

"I'm only crazy for Moony, as you very well know Remus." Sirius said with a wink, Remus blushed a little.

"O, are you now? I thought you were also crazy for Prongs?" Remus shyly grinned.

"Well, that's only to make you jealous, Remus dear." At this comment Remus got even redder, and his mother smiled.

"Well, this said, does anyone want this?" Emily pointed at her plate.

There was a piece of chocolate cake there. They had all had one piece, but Remus' mother didn't want hers. Sirius smiled as Remus' eyes grew as wide as Emily's plate. He certainly wanted it.

"Now, I think," Sirius said, picking up the piece, Remus' eyes followed it hungrily. "That Remus wants it. Here you go Sweety. Eat it. Enjoy it. 'Cause you look so darn cute when you do that." He placed the piece on Remus' plate.

"Hmm, being cute comes in handy." Remus said.

Sirius chuckled and moved his chair closer to the table, and placed his green-sock-covered foot on the edge of Remus' chair, just between his legs.

Remus didn't notice at first, he was too busy eating cake. But when Sirius moved it, softly rubbing Remus' thighs, Remus' eyes grew wide again, and he looked at Sirius. Sirius just smiled happily, as if he was not rubbing Remus' thigh with his foot. As if he wasn't making Remus really hot.

"And what about you miss? You like the house?" Sirius asked politely, totally ignoring the fact that his foot was turning Remus on.

"Well, the house fits us, I believe, doesn't it Remus?" she looked at her son.

Remus just nodded, he was afraid that if he'd talk, his voice would fail him.

"It's not too big, and just perfect for three people. Of course, there's no library here, as you must know, we're not that… wealthy, but we have everything we need. We have our privacy, we have the forest, no one ever comes there, and that comes in handy, right Remus?" Again, Remus just nodded, and his mother continued talking.

Sirius now started rubbing Remus' inner thigh. Sirius' toes started tip-toeing, and he made circles too.

On the inside, Remus was going mad, his mind working top speed, trying to progress what was going on: 'oh God! That's great… no! Remus! Concentrate! Think about something else! Snape in bikini! Yah… that helps.' Remus relaxed a bit.

'Snape in bikini.' Was a huge hit if you wanted to stop yourself from getting hot.

But Sirius didn't give up. He continued making circles, going up and down, and up and down.

'Oh really… now that's just…' Remus didn't even want to think about anything else anymore, he just leaned back, and relaxed.

But then…

'Oh my God!'

Sirius started rubbing, well, more… softly caressing Remus' privet parts.

'Fuck! This is going too far! If you don't do something soon, things will be rising!'

Remus didn't know what to do. He swallowed hard, Sirius grinned as he saw the red blush on Remus' face. Remus liked it. He really did, but with his mother… honestly.

"…anyways, I have to change now, have to get to work in an hour." Emily got up, smiling.

She went to her bedroom, to get ready for work.

In the kitchen, Remus moved away as soon as his mother left.

"You're mad!" He said.

"Oh, am I? why?" Sirius got off his chair and sat on bended knees before Remus. Sirius placed his hand on Remus' thigh, and made figures with his thumb.

"You can't just go and turn me on when my mother's here. That's…" Remus sighed, Sirius didn't really care, he just continued rubbing.

"Well, I'm sorry, I didn't know I was turning you on." Sirius grinned.

"Yah, sure."

Sirius placed his free hand behind Remus' neck, and brought his own forehead to Remus'. Remus looked into Sirius' beautiful, grey eyes. They were a stormy kind of grey, with a hint of blue. Their noses touched, and Remus smiled. Moments like these would last forever, if he had it his way.

"I love you Padfoot." He whispered.

"I love you too Moony." Sirius kissed Remus.

Their foreheads were still touching, and Sirius deepened the kiss. When Sirius pulled back, they heard people come down the stairs. Remus' mother and father.

"Hi…" Remus' father smiled and yawned.

His mother sat down again, she was already dressed, Remus' father didn't have to be at work for an other hour and a half.

"Good morning." Remus and Sirius said.

Sirius stayed where he was, but he stopped rubbing Remus' thigh.

"Do you want tea or coffee?" Emily asked.

Richard sat down next to Remus.

"I'll have coffee dear."

Emily smiled and offered her husband a cup.

"Thank you."

Sirius looked at Emily and Richard. They seemed happy. Emily made a teasing remark about her husband being so sleepy, Richard laughed it away by pointing out that it had been a short night. As she took away Remus' and Sirius' plates, she complained about 'her' Richard never helping around the house, he just grabbed her around her waist, pulled her onto his lap and kissed her, whilst exclaiming that 'his' Emily did enough for the both of them.

Sirius liked to look at them. They looked like a perfect family. Teasing a little, but in the end, still in love. He'd like to have something like that when he was older.

As Emily poked her husband and put the dishes in the dishwasher, Sirius looked at her eyes. He was good at reading people's eyes, and hers spoke of so many things. Trust, friendship, secrecy, 'I like you', 'kiss me', 'need me', 'love me', and so much more. Her eyes smiled, just like Remus' did when he was truly happy. Emily's and Remus' eyes smiled more than their mouths could ever.

Sirius looked up when he felt Remus' hand on his own. Remus was smiling at him, and rubbed Sirius' hand with his thumb. Sirius didn't smile back. He had just realised something. He wanted it. The whole package. The happiness. The marriage. Wedding anniversaries. Sharing a bed. No secrecy. Living together. Growing old together. Die together. All of it. And he wanted it with Remus J. Lupin.

Sirius looked at him again, he stared back, a worried look on his face. Sirius managed to smile a little smile. It was then that he noticed he was still on his knees. He took Remus' hand, and sat on his chair, still holding hands with Remus.

"Okay," Emily began. "Now, I'm leaving soon, but Remus, do you want me to make your bed before I go?"

"Oh, you don't have to do that miss Lupin, it'll be a mess again tomorrow anyway." Sirius' smile widened.

"Now, that's a smart boy." Richard said.

"Thank you sir." Sirius replied.

"So, that's a 'no'?"

"That's a 'no', it'll save you the trouble mum." Remus said.

Emily smiled.

"Well, I'm off then, see you tonight." She kissed her husband, whispered a quick "I love you." Against his lips, and turned to Remus.

"You're gonna be okay? I can stay if you want me too." She stared at her son.

For a minute, Sirius wondered what they were talking about, then, he knew. It was almost full moon, and Remus always got a little sensitive around that time. Sirius gave Remus' hand a squeeze for comfort.

"I'll be just fine mum. And by the way, Sirius is here now. He'll take care of me, wont you?" They both looked at Sirius.

"Of course! For always and ever!"

"Right, 'cause you're only crazy for Moony." Emily winked knowingly.

She gave both Remus and Sirius a kiss on their cheek.

"Bye." She left.

"Hey, does your mum know about the names?" Sirius asked.

"Nope, she's just smart." Remus smiled.

"Just like you then." Sirius then concentrated on Richard, he was lazily sipping coffee, and looked distracted.

"Are you okay sir?" Sirius asked.

Richard blinked, looked at Sirius, then at his son, and then back at Sirius.

"I'm fine, thank you." He smiled a little, and looked at Remus again.

Remus and Richard exchanged looks. Remus shook his head slightly in a warning way. He also mouthed a couple of words that made Richard sigh, and he rolled his eyes, as if to tell Remus he was mad.

Sirius looked at them, they seemed to have some sort of fight, but then a non-verbal one.

Then Richard said: "I'm gonna take a shower." And left without another word.

"Okay," Sirius looked at Remus. "What was that all about?"

"Just something between me and my father, never mind that."

"Right… so… let's go upstairs." Sirius decided it would be best if he let it rest for some time.

Remus would tell him when he felt that it was right. There was no use trying to force Remus into telling. That'd only cause trouble.

"Come on!" Sirius pulled Remus on his feet and up the stairs.

"But…" Remus protested.

"Now, come on," Sirius said "you need too… erm… take care of me." He ended.

"Take care of you?"

Sirius nodded.

"Come on. I'll explain." Sirius dragged Remus into his bedroom.

As soon as he had closed the door, he took off his pyjama.

"My back and… well, the rest." He whispered.

Remus gave him a little kiss.

"Lie down." He pointed at the bed.

Sirius lay down, and Remus sat next to him, and softly caressed his back. He washed it with a moist washcloth, then, he carefully pulled Sirius' boxers down. He washed Sirius' backside too, and kissed Sirius once when he flinched.

"So?"

"It's okay. Just one purple mark left." Remus said and smiled.

"And my ass?" Sirius got a little red.

"Just fine." Remus gave on of Sirius' buttocks a kiss, and helped him get his boxers on again.

Remus lay down and looked at Sirius, who turned around and looked back.

"You're okay." Remus said.

"I'm fine." Sirius nodded.

"Are you sure?" Remus asked.

"Hey! You said I was!" Sirius huffed.

"Yah, but are you?"

"If I wouldn't be, then you wouldn't say that I am, right?"

"Yah."

"So, I'm fine." Sirius tried to smile.

"But are you sure?" Remus whispered.

"Let's just skip the whole 'sure' part. I'm fine, as long as you stay with me." Sirius petted Remus' face.

Remus smiled and then a voice came calling towards them: "I'm leaving now! Bye!" They heard a door slam.

"Was that your father leaving?" Sirius whispered, as if Richard might be standing right outside, with his ear against Remus' bedroom door.

Remus nodded.

"Aha. I need a hug." Sirius decided.

"What on earth for?" Remus lifted a brow.

"Since when do I need a reason? And I'll need a kiss for that." Sirius whined.

Remus rolled his eyes, though he obviously liked it.

"But if you don't want too, you don't have too. I can't make you, and…" Sirius was interrupted by Remus' lips, meeting his.

They stayed the whole day in bed. Talking, kissing, hugging, and just enjoying each others company.

Sirius didn't tell Remus about his thought of the family thing; he should've told him. It isn't good to keep secrets. Certainly not about love.

Remus didn't tell Sirius about the little fight with his father; he should've told him. It isn't good to keep secrets. Certainly not about disapproval.

-

About a week later, Remus and Sirius were sitting alone, in the dark.

"This is cruel." Sirius puffed.

Remus and Sirius were sitting by the edge of the forest, Remus' parents had just left. They were here for Remus' transformation. Sirius didn't like it.

"I don't see how they can just…"

Remus interrupted Sirius.

"Sirius, please. They have to, I could hurt them. And by the way, you're here now, it's okay. I don't mind, I understand."

Sirius nodded, Remus was right, of course he was. He always was, but still…

"Okay, what now? We go into the forest?" Sirius asked.

Remus gave a short nod. So they got up, and walked deeper into the forest. It was pretty creepy. And dark. Suddenly Remus stopped walking.

"Sirius… I think…" Remus didn't need to finish the sentence for Sirius to know what he meant.

The transformation was about to begin. Sirius lay an arm around Remus' shoulder.

"It's okay Moony, it's okay…"

Minutes later Remus and Sirius were gone. Now they were Moony and Padfoot. They'd fight, dog and werewolf. They'd howl to a full moon. Padfoot would be there for Moony. He'd help him through the night. For every drop of humanity Remus'd lose, Sirius'd give him a kiss later. They'd be a wolf and a dog the whole night. They'd find a way to make it better.

-

And then, night and full moon were gone. Remus lay on his bed at home. Sirius had told he'd take care of Remus, and his parents had left the two alone. Remus looked beautiful, even now. He was wrapped in the cloak his parents had brought with them, and was wearing Sirius' sweater. He hadn't hurt himself that much. Some scratches, here and there. But he had been worse. He was sort of asleep. Sirius knew it was only to forget the pain. He knew that Remus always felt sore after his transformations. He also knew, that it wasn't because there weren't many wounds, that Remus wasn't in pain. He took off the sweater and the cloak. Before he turned around to take pyjamas out of the drawer, he gave Remus a little kiss. Remus opened his eyes a bit, and watched Sirius get his pyjamas. When he came back, he smiled at Remus.

"Hi Love. How are you?" Sirius asked softly.

He helped him put on the pyjamas, but he didn't put on the shirt. There were some wounds on Remus' shoulders and chest.

"I'm okay. As long as you stay here with me." Remus whispered.

"Of course Sweety." Sirius kissed his nose, and went to the bathroom.

He came back with a moist washcloth. Remus closed his eyes and let Sirius take care off him. Sirius caressed Remus' chest and shoulders. Remus sighed deeply and relaxed. He loved Sirius taking care for him. Sirius' touches made him go insane. And there was more. He felt safe with Sirius. He needed that. Definitely now. He wasn't feeling so good. Sore, and painful. He needed his Sirius now.

When Sirius was done washing Remus' shoulders and chest, he went back to the bathroom. Remus stayed in bed, lying with his eyes closed. He looked so broken and vulnerable, yet so beautiful and perfect. Sirius got back from the bathroom, and leaned against the doorpost, watching Remus' form. Remus didn't open his eyes, but he knew Sirius was there.

"Hold me?" He asked quietly.

Sirius smiled and crawled into bed. He lay his arms around Remus' waist, and pulled him close. Remus turned around so he could put his head against Sirius' chest. He looked up at Sirius.

"Sirius," he whispered. "Do you love me?"

"Of course," Sirius kissed him on his head. "For ever."

Remus turned on his back and Sirius continued looking at him. He let a slender finger glide over Remus' soft skin, and Remus shivered with desire. Sirius grinned and gave him a soft kiss.

"You like that?" He asked teasingly.

His fingers went over sensitive skin travelling to Remus' bellybutton, going to the waistband of his pyjamas, and up again. Remus nodded, taking Sirius' hand, and kissing it. Sirius came a bit closer, still on his side. He let his whole hand go over Remus' body. From his waistband, to his chest. Rough hands sliding over soft skin. Tilting his head, kissing soft lips. Hands roaming over pale stomach, Sirius and Remus burning up. Remus held on to Sirius sweater, almost desperately, deepening their kiss. There was a serious moment of just kissing and touching, and trying to undress and loving, and then there was nakedness and feeling and burning. Sirius gave a kiss on Remus' ankle going up to his leg. Remus shivered with pleasure, and Sirius reached his bellybutton. He kissed it softly, enjoying the feeling of Remus' skin against his lips. Remus' fingers went through Sirius' long hair, down his neck, and over his strong back.

"Remus," Sirius whispered. Remus tilted his head, smiling slightly. "You want this, right? Because if you want us to stop, we can do that."

Sirius was afraid they shouldn't be doing this. He was afraid it was wrong. But then Remus kissed him, and allowed him to feel him. He allowed Sirius to touch and caress and love. And Remus made Sirius pant and moan and scream. And they moved and thrust and throbbed and made, shimmering, blistering love.

-

"My, Moony," Sirius panted. "I never knew you could be so _active_ after a full moon."

Remus grinned wickedly and pushed Sirius against the bed, kissing him fiercely again. Sirius loved that little domestic side of Remus. Definitely because he knew Remus only was domestic when it came to Sirius. Remus put his head against Sirius, their breathing still heavy, their bodies sweaty and slippery. And right before Sirius doze off, he whispered: "that was way better then chess without chess. I love you Moony."

And Remus laughed and gave him a little peck kiss.

-

Remus opened his eyes when he heard his door creep open. His mother stood in the doorway, looking quite frightened, and a bit surprised. Remus pulled up the blankets, to hide his nakedness. Sirius grunted in his sleep. Murmured something about 'not wanting to'. Emily stood there. Perplex.

"Mom, I…" Remus didn't know what to say. Was this really bad, or minimum kind of bad? Should he apologise for lying in bed naked with the man he was in love with?

"It's fine Remus," Emily whispered suddenly. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

She moved away from the door. Remus got out of bed, draping the blankets tightly around his body, and followed her.

"Mom wait!" His mother had already reached the staircase.

She turned around, and looked at him, smiling slightly.

"I'm sorry about not telling you," Remus said. She came closer. "Not about sleeping with Sirius, because that's not wrong, so I shouldn't be sorry."

She lay a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't want you to be upset because I didn't tell you," he went on. "But it wasn't planned or anything. It just sort of happened. He was taking care of me, and then we were touching and all of a sudden there were no clothes. And then it only seemed right to do something with our current nakedness and well… you know," he blushed a deep crimson, and Emily grinned. "At first I thought it wouldn't work," Remus admitted. His mother was here now, so he might as well tell her about his fears. "Me and Sirius. I just figured, you know… we're two people in need for help. And when you yourself are so messed up, it's hard to give aide to others. And that part went better then I ever imagined," he thought about the night he had comforted Sirius in the bathroom. And about what Lucius had done. "I helped him when he had bad dreams, and when the world just wasn't right. And he's _always_ there when I don't feel okay about what I am. Or when my furry problem pops up. He helps me, and I help him, and it worked. And I just realised, that two people in need for help, just might as well help each other."

Remus' mother smiled.

"You're a sensible boy Remus," she kissed him on the head. "You should go back to bed."

And they both turned, Remus heading for his room, Emily heading down. And Remus just smiled; the body next to him, softer than the blankets. And sleep. Sleep, better than it had been in days.

He knew it would be okay, eventually. Remus would make Sirius forget about his hurt, and they would spend the rest of their lives together, forever. Like the moon- and starlight, as it cascaded shadows on their touching skin. They were just meant to be.

**AN: when I checked this story, I saw that I had actually already completed the chapter, and decided to end it here. I made minor edits to spelling and some of the sex-scene was altered, as were the last lines. I figured if you guys liked the style it was written in so far, I shouldn't change it too much, since my style is completely different now, from what it was when I wrote this story (this was actually my 2nd FF ever)**

**Thanks for sticking with it for 5 crappy chapters, and if you have time, check out some of my recent stuff - it's much better, I swear.**

**Love,**

**Crazy4Moony  
**


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